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BETTER BEGINNINGS
PENNY PATTER

September 24, 2002

"Keep yourself safe!" These three words are heard frequently at Better Beginnings. We elaborate: Walk in the hallway. Hold hands and stay in line when you go for a walk. Stop, look and listen when you are at a crossing. Cross only when an adult says it is okay. Older students who walk to school from their homes are reminded to cross where there is a guard.

As young as they are, they obey these rules. We are glad: their little lives and big futures depend on it. I only wish adults and near-adults were as vigilant.

Kelly Mitchell, the crossing guard in Roosevelt, has written: "As a school crossing guard for the Roosevelt Public School, I believe the issue of speeding near and at crosswalks needs to be addressed. Many people's lack of concern for the flashing lights at school crossings amazes me. People seem to be more worried about arriving to work on time than the safety of our children. Speeding is an important issue to crossing guards everywhere."

Driving slowly where children are walking to school, or where they live and play, is just, plain sensible. If you happen to be in back of me, prepare to slow down. I brake for kids. And don't rage at me. It won't make me go faster. And, come to think of it, as we go cautiously around curves, along a road where deer cross, and children play, you might want to thank me. Instead of fuming, you might just think to yourself, "The life she is saving might be mine." Tailgating and flashing your high beams through my rearview mirror and into my eyes won't make me go faster and is, by the way, also against the law.

Drivers: please slow down. Speeding along may get your adrenaline flowing and make you feel powerful, but when you hit something or someone, or hurt yourself, you will feel powerless. Save that zoom zoom stuff for a more appropriate place, not our highways and byways. And if you get a ticket for speeding, think of it as a warning: police officers also want to save your life and that of others. They know only too well that the unanticipated (such as a forgetful child darting into the road) will pop up when least expected. And you never know when some elderly lady might stop to let a turtle cross the road.

No, I was not always a fuddy-duddy-speed-limit-driving person. But three speeding tickets in three municipalities within three months convinced me, several decades ago, that I could not afford to speed. Thank goodness for it. So it was that when that antlered buck suddenly crossed the road in front of me I was going slow enough so that we me with low impact. He just shook himself and continued on his way into the woods. I suffered only a small dent under my right headlight, slight emotional upheaval, and no physical pain. So it was, too, that when a child did dart out between cars, I was going slow enough to stop in time. So it was, again, that when a car, that had passed me and sped ahead, hit an icy spot and spun around out of control and headed for me, I was creeping along so slowly, that a crash was avoided.

Stuff happens. Speed kills. Slow down. Use a little caution. Live a long time with as few regrets as possible. End of this week's rant.
========================================================================
Congratulations to Joel Larsen on receiving the Individual Civic Appreciation Award from the Community Action Service Center. Both he and Judy have contributed to and done so much for so many years for our community. It was indeed a pleasure and joy to join in the accolades. Also receiving well-deserved awards were the Juniorettes (organization) and Comcast (business/industry). To the bravos and hurrahs, we add ours.
=======================================================================
Penny Pincher is beside herself. The idea of keeping massive amounts of cardboard boxes out of the landfill and at the same time seeing lots and lots of creative Halloween costumes made for just pennies has her itching and twitching.
Here are just a FEW ideas offered by www.thefamilycorner.com, together with instructions. Robot, race car, refrigerator, gift, Jack-in-the-Box, dice, television, x-ray machine, Leggos, popcorn box.

As always, if you don't have internet access, I will be glad to share them with you. Write to me at POBox 187, Hightstown NJ 08520 or BeWith@mail2peace.com. Please use the same address to share any ideas you may have for Penny Pincher, or ideas, thoughts or suggestions about the column.
============================================================
Michael Vanderbeck delivered to me a surprise gift from that beautiful woman, that courageous humanitarian, his wife, Dr. Anastasia Posadskaya-Vanderbeck, who happens to be the Director of the Network Women's Program. In an over the shoulder bag she included nesting dolls and a small bag that opens to be a big bag and then, amazingly, folds back into being a little bag. All are treasures. I love them every one. But most of all I enjoy the book, called "Bending the Bow", which is an account of the program's activities in promoting the advancements of women's human rights, gender equality, and empowerment as an integral part of the process of democratization. Accounts of how this mission is being carried out run a gamut of 26 countries from Albania to Yugoslavia and are astonishing. I am awed by this woman. Our community is truly a treasure chest and she is one of the treasures.
============================================================
Loyal friends in our community are a treasure, too: "Mr. Jonathan" Craig has given us a generous contribution for our "35th birthday". And because "our kids" kept asking about the goats, he arranged for another visit from the other "kids", Allan Meyners' baby goats. By the way, "Mr. Jonathan" featured Parishioner in Trinity Church of Princeton's newsletter for his activities and support of Better Beginnings.

Dennis and Rita Ropars, long-long time friends, have brought us many needed items including a computer, pennies and paper goods. Natalie Warner, a Roosevelt friend, also brought paper goods, craft items, and toys from her group, Mothers & More.

Sylvia Weiss donated many valuable items, as did Larry & Ellen Schneider, which included many books and toys. Stanley Horowitz donated two monitors, a cpu, jet printer and laser printer for our digital inclusion program.

East Windsor Township sent along a lovely appropriation.

Kritin & Kathryn Schwache, whose Mom is Karen, donated a 20" purple bike. Since a bicycle is, in addition to being recreational, a primary means of transporation for some of our families, this donation is much desired. We will have a drawing at our next Family/Staff meeting.
============================================================
Better Beginnings playyard is being enlarged and improved to meet the State's requirements for safety and adequate room for physical development. Old equipment that is rusty and/or splintering must be replaced. Parent volunteers have assisted with some of the labor. Space has been expanded, and new fencing added. Now the children are collecting pennies to help with the purchase of new equipment which must be anchored. So far, SuperDoopers Steven, Karla, Nataly, David, Lissete, Darren and Christopher have collected $41.46.

Brace Place is also helping. Encouraging young people to give up their Halloween candy, they will give $2.00 for each pound of candy the youth/children turn in. One dollar will go to Better Beginnings for the playyard. The other dollar will go to the child who may keep it or donate it. What a great way to accomplish multi-purposes!!

You, too, may wish to help with this project. Pennies, contributions, fundraisers: all are welcome and appreciated.
============================================================
Be kind to one another and to yourself! And take a nice, healthy walk: visit beautiful downtown Hightstown. You will be glad you did. There are many treasures there awaiting your perusal, and, for the moment, no big crowds ahead of you.

September 17, 2002

"Keep yourself safe!" These three words are heard frequently at Better Beginnings. We elaborate: Walk in the hallway. Hold hands and stay in line when you go for a walk. Stop, look and listen when you are at a crossing. Stay out of the street. Cross only when an adult says it is okay. Older students are reminded to cross where there is a guard.

As young as they are, they obey these rules. We are glad: their little lives and big futures depend on it. I only wish adults and near-adults were as vigilant.


Kelly Mitchell, the crossing guard in Roosevelt, has written: "As a school crossing guard for the Roosevelt Public School, I believe the issue of speeding near and at crosswalks needs to be addressed. Many people's lack of concern for the flashing lights at school crossings amazes me. People seem to be more worried about arriving to work on time than the safety of our children. Speeding is an important issue to crossing guards everywhere."

Driving slowly where children are walking to school, or where they live and play, is just, plain sensible.

If you happen to be in back of me, prepare to slow down. And don't rage at me. It won't make me go faster. And, come to think of it, as we go cautiously around curves, along a road where deer cross, and children play, you might want to thank me. Instead of raging, you might just think to yourself, "The life she is saving might be mine." Tailgating and flashing your headlights into my rearview mirror and into my eyes won't make me go faster and is, by the way, also against the law.

Drivers: please slow down. Speeding along may get your adrenaline flowing and make you feel powerful, but when you hit something or someone, or hurt yourself, you will feel powerless. Save that zoom zoom stuff for a more appropriate place, not our highways and byways. And if you get a ticket for speeding, think of it as a warning: police officers also want to save your life and that of others. They know only too well that the unanticipated (such as a forgetful child darting into the road) will pop up when least expected. And you never know when some elderly lady might stop suddenly to let a turtle cross the road.

No, I was not always a fuddy-duddy-speed-limit-driving person. But three speeding tickets in three municipalities within three months convinced me that I could not afford to speed. Thank goodness for it. So it was that when that antlered buck suddenly crossed the road in front of me I was going slow enough so that he just shook himself and ran into the woods and I suffered only a small dent under my right headlight. So it was that when a child did dart out between cars, I was going slow enough to stop in time. So it was that when a car, that had passed me and sped ahead, hit an icy spot and spun around out of control and headed for me, I was going slow enough to avoid a crash. Stuff happens. Speed kills. Slow down. Live a long time with as few regrets as possible. End of this week's rant.
=======================================================================
Congratulations to Joel Larsen on receiving the Individual Civic Appreciation Award from the Community Action Service Center. Both he and Judy have contributed to and done so much for so many years for our community. It was indeed a pleasure and joy to join in the accolades.

Also receiving well-deserved awards were the Juniorettes (organization) and Comcast (business/industry). To the bravos and hurrahs, we add ours.
=======================================================================
Penny Pincher is beside herself. The idea of keeping massive amounts of cardboard boxes out of the landfill and at the same time seeing lots and lots of creative Halloween costumes made for just pennies has her itching and twitching.

Here are just a FEW ideas offered by http://www.thefamilycorner.com, together with instructions.

Robot, race car, refrigerator, gift, Jack-in-the-Box, dice, television, x-ray machine, Leggos, popcorn box.

As always, if you don't have internet access, I will be glad to share them with you. Write to me at POBox 187, Hightstown NJ 08520 or BeWith@mail2peace.com. Please use the same address to share any ideas you may have for Penny Pincher, or ideas, thoughts or suggestions about the column.

============================================================

Michael Vanderbeck delivered to me a surprise gift from that beautiful woman, that courageous humanitarian, his wife, Dr. Anastasia Posadskaya-Vanderbeck, who happens to be the Director of the Network Women's Program. In an over the shoulder bag she included nesting dolls and a small bag that opens to be a big bag and then, amazingly, folds back into being a little bag. All are treasures. I love them every one. But most of all I enjoy the book, called "Bending the Bow", which is an account of the program's activities in promoting the advancements of women's human rights, gender equality, and empowerment as an integral part of the process of democratization. Accounts of how this mission is being carried out run a gamut of 26 countries from Albania to Yugoslavia and are astonishing. I am awed by this woman. Our community is truly a treasure chest and she is one of the treasures.
============================================================
Loyal friends in our community are a treasure, too: "Mr. Jonathan" Craig has given us a generous contribution for our "35th birthday". Dennis and Rita Ropars, long-long time friends, have brought us many needed items including a computer, pennies and paper goods. Natalie Warner, a Roosevelt friend, also brought paper goods, craft items, and toys from her group, Mothers & More. East Windsor Township sent along an appropriation. Kritin & Kathryn Schwache, whose Mom is Karen, donated a 20" purple bike. Since a bicycle is, in addition to being recreational, a primary means of transportation for some of our families, this donation is much desired. We will have a drawing at our next Family/Staff meeting.

============================================================

Be kind to one another and to yourself! And take a nice, healthy walk: visit beautiful downtown Hightstown. You will be glad you did. There are many treasures there awaiting your perusal, and, for the moment, no big crowds ahead of you.
============================================================

September 10, 2002

We like it when one of our children has a fit. In fact, we hope that all of them have a fit. Socialization (fitting in) is a big part of growing up. (Did I fool you?) Children want to have friends and be liked. It is our job to help them learn how to share, take turns; and that to have a friend, we must be a friend. Of course, the underlying principle is "Treat others as you want to be treated."

How do we help the children make social adjustments? One way is to help them understand that having a temper fit (the other kind of fit) or constantly being cross and cranky is does not attract friends. So, we help the children learn other ways to handle it when things don't go one's way or when someone accidentally steps on one's foot, or when we differ about something. We talk about feelings and help them understand that everyone has feelings. They also have the opportunity to experience the joy of being a helper and helping others.

Never mind that there are those among us so-called adults who seem to need to go through that course of study again. You know, those folks who are habitually argumentative and find fault with every aspect of an idea or an act or an event, or anything that crosses their path. They seem to find pleasure in being contentious. I have seen that spark in the eye, the leveling of the shoulders, as they go forth to do "battle". I think these adults would be much happier if they discovered the joy of doing a "good deed" for others. They should try it; they might like it. Ask me: I did and I do.

Sylvia Weiss crosses my path once in a while, but she is never cross. She is always delightful. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting this much admired former East Windsor Councilwoman, you are in for a treat. Recently, she proposed that we dedicate 9/11 as "Good Deed Day". I think this is a wonderful idea. As this will appear after the one-year remembrance of 9/11, I suggest that Good Deeds never go out of style, and that we pledge at least one Good Deed in memory of those we lost, as a tribute to those who acted so heroically, and as a kindness to those who lost a loved one.

Another grand lady, dedicated to the well-being of others, to whom doing good deeds is second nature, is Ondina Jeffers. We observe that she recently was honored with the Sylvia Weiss Award. Congratulations, dear friend and gentle person, on this well-deserved recognition.

Sylvia will be glad to know that youth volunteers and those who work with youth like the idea of good deeds as well. Champions of Hope's United Day of Service kicked off the Seasons of Hope campaign on September 11, 2002. This special day began a yearlong focus on five worthy Freedom Programs. Young people from all 50 states and from around the world are tackling everything from literacy, hunger, environment, and polio to supporting local fire, police and rescue organizations. They plan to collect 911,000 books for literacy programs, collect and deliver 911,000 tons of food to the hungry, plant 911,000 trees, and raise $911,000 through car washes for local fire, police and rescue organizations. That is indeed, a good many good deeds!

Find out more about their Mission and Goals at http://www.uniteddayofservice.org/mission.htm

==============================================================

Penny Pincher wants to do her part in helping people and the environment. She suggests that egg cartons are a thing of wonder. DO not send them to the trash! Here are a few ides: those little dividers make a great sorting tray are great for children who are learning to sort and classify. When she was little, my daughter made me the best jewelry box ever by painting one my favorite color and decorating it. All those little compartments are also great for the arts and crafts. For easel painting, for example, a different color can go in each section.

==============================================================
Good Deeds along the way: Driving to work one day on two-lane Etra Road, I saw cars stopped in both lanes. As I approached, I stretched my neck to see what was happening. Also stretching his neck was a turtle with a shell about the size of a dinner plate who was plodding across the road. And we all waited until he had safely completed his journey. Humanity lives! I am still smiling at the joy I feel over this incident.

Little concerned was that little guy about the worries of the world. He just wanted to get to the other side of the road as fast as his little legs would carry him. And we, with our small and large bundle of worries, set them aside, paused and enjoyed seeing him reach his destination safely.

Along with that, I might add, I share the joy of knowing that East Windsor Mayor & Council have moved to preserve more green lands so that Brother Turtle and his wildlife friends may find a haven, and we, humans, can breathe easier. Saving trees to provide oxygen is a right good deed.

David and Celia Abalos touch me right in my heart with their Good Deeds. As educators themselves, appreciating as they do, our staff who work long hours at low wages for their very important work: nurturing and teaching young children. Always supportive, from time to time, Los Abalos express their appreciation in a very concrete way: a very generous contribution designated specifically to be shared with all staff as a "bonus". This time it was for Labor Day. So appropriate. So appreciated. Thank you.

And there are those whose Good Deeds are an everyday occurrence. For example, there is "Mr. Jonathan" Craig who finds so many items to share with us: educational tapes, children's books, dress-up clothes including some great hats, other novelties and, yes, another playground slide.

Larry & Ellen Schneider and Jacqueline Lewis have shared many toys, books and learning games with our children. Very good, indeed. Our children are enjoying them even as I write. I, of course, love books and want the children, some of whom are learning to read in their second language, to find the same enjoyment.

Good Air was received via Jesse Rosen, who donated a Honeywell Air filter system; and good food was the gift from George Mullins for ConAgra Foods.

A Good Deed that keeps on going is a designation for employer-based contributions, such as the United Way. We thank John Crawford for again designating Better Beginnings. So also is the faithful monthly gift in memory of Jimmy Jackson from Frances Rios and Mildred Bel1. Clara Martino's lets her fingers do the talking for her good deeds: another ten blankets, along with other useful items. She, George Medary, Jean Hutchinson, J. B. Craig and others answered our plea for paper goods, and other items needed for the children's homemade musical instruments which we will all enjoy at the birthday bash the children are throwing on September 16.

Volunteering is another Good Deed that doesn't quit. Assist in classrooms, the office, be a computer mentor, a literacy mentor, or a music maker. Better Beginnings' children need you.

Thank you, each one, for finding a way to make our world a better place.

Smile at someone today who is not expecting it. You might just turn a "bad day" around for someone.

September 03, 2002

I, for one, am going to do it. It's the best idea I have heard yet for - oh, dear - I don't know what to call that day. I am uncomfortable calling it an anniversary or making it a holiday. That sounds like a celebration, and it was a horrible day. I "remember Pearl Harbor" and this day was somehow even more infamous.

If we make it a "holiday", I fear it will become trivialized or even worse. For instance, look what a strange "holiday" Labor Day has become, I once heard this day was a time to honor those who labor. Instead it has become a time when those who labor for the least pay, must labor even harder, so that other more fortunates can shop, dine out, or be entertained. I trust that each of us at least remembered to at least leave a bigger tip for the laborer.

Back to September 11. There is much to remember is worthy of celebration: the many heroes and heroines on that day and the many days that followed; the way everyone in the country started being kinder to each other and working cooperatively together.

Every one of has been touched with a loss of a loved one, someone who has lost a loved one, someone who was there and somehow survived. We certainly want to honor and commemorate those who died, and comfort those who lost someone close.

So, my goal would be to find a way of remembering all those we lost, as well as all those who acted so heroically and caringly. So, I guess I will call it, "Remembering September 11th", just like Pastor Suzanne Schafer-Coates did in the Presby Press.

And, here is the idea. This great idea comes from Sylvia Weiss, much admired former East Windsor Councilwoman. She suggests that each of us commit to doing a Good Deed on 9/11. We can could each do a Good Deed in memory of those we lost and as a tribute to those who acted so heroically and as a kindness to those who lost a loved one: what a wonderful idea. I can envision a ground swell of people being nice to each other.

I am hereby committed to doing a Good Deed that day. I have not yet decided what it will be. But I have a little time to ruminate. If you are willing to pledge to doing the same, I will love hearing from you. I would like to make a list and forward it on to those who might take comfort from knowing that kind deeds are being done in the name of their loved ones. Please pass the idea on to others.

Another thing I like about this idea is that we can use the idea for the little ones. It has been hard to decide how to handle this day with them. There will be bells ringing. They touch their inner rhythm, and they find comfort and a feeling of being cared for and safe when hearing the bells. One child said to me: "Listen, Ms. Witherspoon, the Church is singing to us."

We have seen suggestions that we should not upset the children but simply behave normally. Still, a child can sense when an adult is troubled, and may become upset at the unknown. Thus, we have planned to keep it low key, but have the children participate in a small way by making paper flags, perhaps. We have also planned for them to make a special red-white-and-blue snack, using strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream. We have drawings of people and children exhibiting all kinds of feelings. We encourage the children to "tell us a story" about the picture as a way of letting their own feelings out.

Sylvia's idea adds so much. Each one of them can make a plan to do a "Good Deed" for someone. Little as they may be, they are capable of doing a kindness. This fits so perfectly into our philosophy and will also empower them and contribute to their feeling of self-worth.

Thank you, Sylvia!!

Thank you, Suzanne, too. I observe that the church will be open from 8:30-11:00 a.m., and that there will be an Interfaith Service of Faith and Remembrance sponsored by the Hightstown/East Windsor Churches of the Windsor-Hightstown Area Ministerium outdoors at the East Windsor Municipal Building, 16 Lanning Blvd. At 7:00 p.m. at which all are welcome.

I also note that you have listed several things people are being asked to do that day:

· Please drive with your lights on all day
· Please wear red, white and blue clothing or pins/ribbons/etc. that display a patriotic theme.
· Please pause at 12 Noon, place your hand over your heart and recite the Pledge of Allegiance and
· encourage those around you to join in.


I ask, with Sylvia Weiss, that everyone add one more.

· Please do a Good Deed for someone.

Good Deeds along the way: Driving to work today on two-lane Etra Road, I saw cars stopped in both lanes. As I approached, I stretched my neck to see what was happening. A turtle with a shell about the size of a dinner plate was plodding across the road. And we all waited until he had safely completed his journey. Humanity lives! I am still smiling at the joy I feel over this incident.

Along with that, I might add, I share the joy of knowing that East Windsor Mayor & Council have moved to preserve more green lands so that Brother Turtle and his wildlife friends may find a haven, and we, humans, can breathe easier. Saving trees to provide oxygen is a right good deed.

David and Celia Abalos touch me right in my heart with their Good Deeds. As educators themselves, appreciating as they do, our staff who work long hours at low wages for their very important work: nurturing and teaching young children. Always supportive, from time to time, Los Abalos express their appreciation in a very concrete way: a very generous contribution designated specifically to be shared with all staff as a "bonus". This time it was for Labor Day. So appropriate. So appreciated. Thank you.

And there are those whose Good Deeds are an everyday occurrence. For example, there is "Mr. Jonathan" Craig who finds so many items to share with us: educational tapes, children's books, and other novelties and, yes, another playground slide.

A Good Deed that keeps on going is a designation for employer-based contributions, such as the United Way. We thank John Crawford for again designating Better Beginnings.

Volunteering is another Good Deed that doesn't quit. Assist in classrooms, the office, be a computer mentor, a literacy mentor, or a music maker. Better Beginnings' children need you.

Thank you, each one, for finding a way to make our world a better place.

Smile at someone today who is not expecting it. You might just turn a "bad day" around for someone.

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