June 25, 2002
Summer is here. School is out. Kids, bless them, are all about.

Thus begins the summer scramble begins. I am from the agricultural age, when we were released for the summer so we could help on the farm. Now there are fewer farms, and fewer summer jobs for kids. Parents are looking for opportunities to keep the children busy and, hopefully, to continue their learning or, at very least, to keep them from losing ground over the summer.

The Internet can be useful, since many learning games and activities can be found there. Of course, one must be careful that the children are not victimized or what they learn is not way beyond what we had planned. I think that children's use of the Internet, like the TV, needs to be supervised. I found a list of 100 things to give children to do when children say, "I'm bored". As always, I would be glad to share. One I like is, "Do a good deed for a neighbor." We also found a calendar on the internet that offers a suggestion for something new and interesting to do each day. It can be found at http://www.amomslove.com/calendar.html
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The pharmacist/owner of Hightstown Pharmacy gives his customers a slim magazine entitled, "Family Health Guide". I read these things, so I am very grateful. I had a dizzy spell while in the supermarket, and am happy to comply with the suggestions I found there for "seniors". I am, therefore, staying inside today, keeping cool under the air conditioner, and drinking fluids such as water and fruit juice. I like 100% juice myself. Admittedly, Penny Pincher would rather be at the yard sales, but this time Common Cents has the upper hand.
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Under water safety for children, the handout suggests

· Maintain constant supervision.
· Don't rely on flotation devices and inflatable toys to replace supervision.
· Enroll children in a water safety course or Learn to Swim program.
· Take a CPR course. ]

There are more suggestions for Home Pool Safety, Ocean Safety, Tick Prevention, Avoiding Food Poisoning, Skin Cancer Prevention, Sun Protection, Recipes, and to Penny Pincher's delight, money-saving coupons.
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One year we asked school-age children to help us make a list of 100+ "natural highs". Young people who feel sad, who have gotten their feelings hurt, or are suffering any of the many emotional downs to which they are subject as they develop, are vulnerable to the lure of substances that give them a "high". Adults are subject to the same downers. Since 9/11 and all the ensuing tragedies and fears, vulnerability has increased. How much better, we think, to have "in our pocket" a list of things we can do that help us feel better. Readers, this year I would like it very much if you would help me make a list of natural highs. You may wish to label your suggestion as being for youth, adults or both. I will compile the lists and share them here and again at Better Beginnings' annual Toy Weapon Exchange booth. Please indicate whether it is okay to use your name.

I will start with five of the listings I remember:

1.Chat with a friend;
2.Listen to music;
3.Draw or paint a picture;
4.Read a story or a book;
5.Play a game.

Please write to me at PO Box 187, Hightstown NJ or email me at BeWith@Mail2Peace.com
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Better Beginnings needs volunteers to help with assure a creative arts program for young children. If you would get a "high" from any of the following, your help would be very welcome, whether on a regular or one-time basis: encouraging children to sing, to experience a variety of musical instruments, to recognize feelings that arise from usic, to explore music and movement, to move to the beat in music, to play a role or make up new roles and act them out, to participate in dramatic play, to differentiate between pretend and real, to create art representations, to experience different art forms, to enjoy storytelling and reading, to enjoy poetry.
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Our copper coin collection has grown to 1,429,612 in pennies or equivalent, thanks to friends at Sunny Young Deli as well as friends like Carol Daley at AAA.
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Multitudes of useful items flowed into the center this week including many magazines and cards from Millie K. Brown, Barbara Guess, Aleta Fleming and Shawn Salter; Rolls, apples and cookies from Pete Bussone and Macaroni Grill; Paper towels and soap from J. B. Craig who ALWAYS seems to remember that "Tuesday is Paper Day at Better Beginnings", and ten more blankets from Clara Martino.

Right on time, as always, is monthly contribution from Judy & Joel Larsen.

Every graduating child received a beautiful long stem carnation from Dr. Jerome and Jackie Bodin. The HOPE parent/staff committee provided the graduation cake and supplies.

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ALL of the children received an early childhood education that provides for present needs and future learning, with many thanks to staff, board, and community for unwavering support.


June 18, 2002
Today is the birthday of Minnie Bell. * How old she is I will not tell. *
But I will say this; and it is true. * Today is my birthday too. * And I am seventy today, hooray, hooray; * and I was born on Minnie's tenth birthday. * (When you work with children all the time, * you sometimes seem to think in rhyme.)

And being seventy, and wearing a red hat with my pretty purple dress, is
just such wonderment. Anything I do now is no longer considered even marginally weird; I am, if anything, eccentric. My advice to everyone: Get old. It is sure fun when you finally arrive at the place where you can just totally be yourself and do what you enjoy (as long as it hurts no one). It is great!

I have learned a lot from Mrs. Bell (the children's name for her). When I want to be formal, I call her Mrs. Mildred Bell. She is always my superior in the age game, so I am formal some of the time. Most of the time, age doesn't make much difference between us, so I call her a friendly, "Minnie".

I have learned a lot from her. She was my first Assistant. I had been an Assistant before, but until Minnie I had never HAD an assistant. She had a lot more experience than I did. I was the "Teacher" and she was the "Assistant" but she taught ME more than a little bit. I soaked up everything that I could but it was sparse. Materials and equipment were also lacking.

Minnie was remarkable. In those days, some 35 years ago, day care was a totally new game, with no rules and very little educational material. All that came later. Adult-child ratio was unheard of then. I was hired to work four hours a day. Minnie worked from eight to ten hours a day. How she managed fifteen to twenty four-year-olds by herself was astonishing. But she did, and on Fridays, she was expected to clean the room and turn the furniture around for Sunday School while still supervising the kids. When I could I would stay late or come back to help on Friday afternoon, but lots of times I had to go to one of my other six or seven part-time jobs. We were both really, really glad when we got additional funding and I was hired as a full-time Group Teacher. (If you would like material on selecting a quality program, please write to me at PO Box 187, Hightstown NJ 08520, or email me at BeWith@mail2Peace.com.)

Okay, I happen to know that Better Beginnings is planning a co-birthday and 35-year center Anniversary party on July 19. And you, dear reader, are invited. Call Althea or Luz at 609-448-6226 for more details. (Shhhh …. I plan to act surprised.)

One of the things I learned from Minnie: There are ways to keep your emotions under control. One day, when I made a face because I had to go to the dentist to have a wisdom tooth pulled, Minnie told me how she handles such stressful situations. Many dental trips and a lot less teeth later, the dentist told me that I was the only patient they ever had who went to sleep in the dental chair while waiting for the dentist. I opened my eyes wide and said, "I am not sleeping. I am praying." Reminds me of another old saying, "Every shut eye ain't sleep."

Today is Sunday, June 16. Now that I am seventy, I get to tell stories from the past and reminisce. Amanda Porter always encourages me to write about the "old days". What a concept! I am seventy. I get senior discounts automatically. People open doors for me out of courtesy. They offer to carry things for me. My past is the "old days". Wow. I cannot begin to tell you how much fun this is. You must try it. It is great. Just don't call me a geezer. I am not a geezer. I might strike out at you with my cane!! Oops, must keep anger under control. Anger is a killer.

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Anger really IS a killer, you know. In a study of more than 1,000 men published in the April 22, 2002 issue of Internal Medicine, researchers found that men who became the angriest were more than SIX times as likely to have a heart attack before the age of 55 compared with men who became least angry.

And that doesn't even count those that get hurt or killed in road rage incidents, fights of fury, shoot-em-ups and other violent acts.

Take a deep breath, guys. What harm is it if a venerable old lady (such as myself) driving in front of you insists on obeying the speed limit? We would have hit that red light anyway. What's the hurry? Take your time. Relax!! Live to a ripe old age of 96 minimum, as I intend to do. (I always flash the peace sign instead of that other finger indicator. I like to think it helps.) After all, it isn't as if I LIKE driving so slowly. That comes from my wisdom born of experience. A flurry of speeding tickets are an expensive lesson.

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Many thanks to the Autumn Club for having our children as their guests at a recent meeting, and for their many gifts including a food basket, a contribution, and many pennies. The intergenerational activities are also very precious to us.

Our friend, J. B. Craig, finds many ways to help us meet our goals: Most recently he donated many children's books. Emergent literacy and the love of reading is high on our list of goals.

Dutch Neck Presbyterian Coop, Dr. Leo VandenBlink, and the Junior Friday Club are also consistent friends, donating many items including toys, parent/child magazines and many other needed items.

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Have you noticed that we have some unusual birds visiting us. We have seen some birds that may have migrated because of the wildfire in the Barrens. If you are inclined to do so, Penny Pincher has a pattern for making a bird feeder from a milk carton or water jug. If you would like to have the directions, please write to me as above.

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Better Beginnings needs volunteers of all kinds, for the classrooms, as literacy mentors for the summer kinderage group, as music makers, as computer mentors for our digital inclusion project, as help in the office, as fundraisers and advocates, and more. Call Luz Nereida Horta at 609-448-6226 for more information.


June 11, 2002
"Darcie's" Mom gives me a woebegone look. Darcie is showing us her new ring, dime store variety, saying "Look what my Daddy gave me." Darcie visits her Dad infrequently, and she is very delighted with this gift. She spent the weekend with him, and he brought her here to the center this Monday morning. Mom, who has come to pick up her child at the end of the work day, smiles at her daughter, and says, "I see, honey. It is very pretty."

Mom whispers to me, "He never gives me any help. He doesn't pay his child support. I give her everything she has: food, clothes, a roof. He gives her this cheap ring and she couldn't be prouder."

I empathize with Mom. Still my research has prepared me for this. I try to explain that a father's influence is as great as the mother's regardless of the amount of time spent with the child. Knowing how much her daughter means to her, I reassure her, " She needs to know that he cares about her too. To her, this is something she can hold on to all those times she doesn't see him or hear from him. It plugs a hole in her self-esteem, but in her heart she knows that you are the one she can rely on."

For many children, the family image of old has been shattered. Darcie's experience is not unusual. At Better Beginnings, we recognize that for some of our children, the father may not be in the home. Others have someone who is "like a Father". Some Dads work two jobs allowing little time with the family. Children like to make cards and gifts, but often they are for a brother, an uncle, a grandfather, or a friend. That male influence is important for the child, boy or girl, and we like to see a male role model in the child's life. Sometimes it is a mentor, like that provided by HEROS, sometimes it is a family member; sometimes it is a friend or neighbor. We are particularly delighted when that person also becomes involved in family activities at the center. At Better Beginnings, we seek and welcome male volunteers. We stop at laying out a red carpet, but figuratively, there is one.

Fathers and Like-a-Fathers can become involved in the child's education in several ways: They can read to and with their children, they can establish a routine that includes some friendly conversational exchange, they can monitor and discuss television shows, they can encourage them and participate with them in constructive activities. At the center they are welcome to help with safety issues, visit and share in the classrooms, attend conferences and family meetings, volunteer, discuss curriculum and share information they have observed about the child's needs, interests and learning styles.

We have seen some of our "Dads" go on to become coaches, participate in community activities, volunteer for after-school functions and even initiate programs where they are needed. We are so proud of them.

We mention all of this because sometimes it seems that "Dads" are not included as much as they could be, and "Dads" are sometimes reluctant to make the first move. Every minute that a Father, a Mentor, or a "Like-a-Father" spends with a child is significant, even vital for the child's present needs and future achievements.

Happy Father's Day to all.

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Dee Murphy brought us a beautiful plant she grew from a sweet potato. It is in the window of the Heart Friends classroom. Pretty Penny loves it. A fern like plant can be grown from carrot tops. First, Penny Pincher advises, make some nutritious carrot sticks for snacks from a couple of carrots. Child may place them in a shallow dish and water them daily. It is child's responsibility to make sure that the tops are sitting in 1/4 inch of water at all times. Beautiful green foliage will be a delightful reward.

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Children learn best when the whole self is involved. Based on research and material from the National Association for the Education of Young Children, this holds true until the age of 9. Little surprise, then, that full body outdoor play is considered so critical. Outside is the best chance they have to assimilate their indoor "lessons". Children feel "free" when they are outside, with less restrictions and interferences and worries about being messy or "following lines". Outdoor learning in the summer is sheer pleasure. Even reading a book outdoors is more fun. Free music in the park should begin soon. I love it when children feel free to skip and run and dance in time to the music. Ahhh, summer! Enjoy!

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Many thanks to Junior Friday Club for a generous contribution, and to Mildred Bell and Frances Rios for their generous monthly remembrance of Jimmy Jackson, beloved brother and uncle. Charles & Mary O'Reilly, Glenn Martindell, and Jesse Rosen are among those who shared the joy with games, popcorn, toys, a typewriter and a radio for the children.

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Congratulations to 33 children who graduated from Better Beginnings' preschool on Thursday, June 13, to their families, to the staff, board members, and to our volunteers and supporters, for making it all possible.

June 4, 2002
Someone has just sent me an email displaying a multitude of butterflies flickering their wings and flittering around the page. They are so beautiful, all different colors and sizes, and yet more alike than different.

Like our children, the butterflies are each unique, yet alike in so many ways. Recently the staff and children watched some butterflies emerge from their cocoons. The children came in breathlessly each day to see if each beautiful surprise had unwrapped itself. One emerged too soon, seemingly injured somehow by an outside force. Everyone watched over it. At first it seemed to be nudging the remaining three cocoons, and we feared it might damage them too. Then it looked as if it would droop and die, undeveloped and unrealized. Instead, it somehow summoned the strength and managed to weave a new cocoon around itself.

What determination! How glad we were that it was in a protected environment so that it could undertake this incredible task without further possibility of harm.

Our children have emerged from their cocoons. Some have been hurt. Each one is a treasure, with a special talent and gift tucked inside. All of us, parents, staff, board, volunteers, and community members, want to see these special gifts realized. Like that butterfly, each child has built inside that same determination to survive, to develop, to fly.

Thank you, everyone in this beautiful community, for providing an environment in which each child can grow, learn, develop with the possibility of reaching their full potential.

And, oh yes, a special ty to the friend who sent me the extraordinary
email butterfly card.

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For those who responded to my recent assessment of the controversy surrounding the HHS mural, I thank you too. I am especially grateful to the one that thanked me for framing the discussion in the form of a "teachable moment" and leading the discussion towards a more "reflective approach". I do like to find the opportunity in any situation. Giving credit where credit is due, it was Luz Nereida Horta and my daughter, Jaymie, who pointed out the window of opportunity that has been opened; a window through which students and adults may be inspired to research their own backgrounds and heritage.

I think there is some hope that each child will be given an opportunity to explore his or her bank of ancestors. It will begin on a small scale at Better Beginnings. Each family and child is being asked to portray in whatever medium they choose, two persons: one from research into their antecedents for one of achievement; the other from soul search for one who had a positive and direct effect on the lives of the family. Hopefully this will contribute to the positive self-image of each child and family.

I now see, also, that we have a platform for discussion, even debate, about a number of topics including the importance of fostering and encouraging creativity, anger management, kindness and compassion, inclusiveness, diversity, and more.

I will admit that I am still puzzled by the extreme anger of some, but I am grateful that words are being used as the form of expression. I am fortunate to have grown up in a home where debate was encouraged and differing opinions were valued. Thus, I am constantly mystified when a person becomes so angry because another person expressed an opinion.

Admittedly, some things arouse my ire (is that from my Irish?). When any human being is abused or treated as less than human, I am angered. When that human being is a child, I become very agitated.

As with that butterfly, great harm can be done when someone in formative stages is injured, particularly when a bond of trust is broken. The damage can be profound and may interfere with the hoped for development in which the full treasure of that child's potential is realized. Generally recognized forms of abuse include sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, physical neglect. We are fortunate at Better Beginnings to regularly have the services of the Campfire Boys and Girls Project "I'm Safe and Sure", as well as the CAPP (Child Assault Prevention Project). Therewith, the children are trained in preventive measures, Teachers are trained to further that instruction as well as to recognize signs of abuse, and parents have similar workshops on preventive measures and recognition.

I have some materials I will gladly share if you write to me at PO Box 187, Hightstown, NJ 08520. If you can access the Internet, the materials are available at Soc-Um.org or the National Network for Child Care.

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Penny Pincher is very happy. From Kelly Scott and Alana Woloszczuk, two vibrant young adults who appear to be neighbors come some tips that save money as well as reducing land fill. Kelly uses left over wallpaper to line drawers. She also uses egg cartons as starter seed pots. They can be planted right in the ground like peat pots. Alana has two suggestions for use of the Minute Maid frozen juice cans. By removing both ends, children can make big bugle beads for necklaces. They also make excellent play telephones by stringing two together. (Remember those?) Thank you, Kelly and Alana. Energetic, creative people like you give us confidence for the future.

If you had any ideas for Penny Pincher, they are very welcome. Email me at BeWith@Mail2Peace.com with the ideas or any other thoughts you want to share.

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Two new kids came to visit Better Beginnings on May 31. Just 5 months old, they loved the children and tried to be petted by every one of them. Yes, they were baby goats, visiting from Staats Farm Dairy, thanks to owner Allan Meyners and friend Jonathan Craig. Staats Farm Dairy is in Belle Mead, where Allan has 31 goats. He became a professional goat herdsman in France where he learned from past masters how to care for goats and make gourmet cheese. The kids were Saanen white pedigreed. The farm has been in Allan's family since the 1640's. He is giving the Better Beginnings' kids the opportunity to name one of the "twins".

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Better Beginnings needs volunteers. Especially for the summer, literacy mentors are wanted to help Kinderage children who are learning to read in their second language. Here is your chance to help a little butterfly emerge. Call 609-448-6226 to start the procedure for volunteering. D. Cent Lee thinks it would be the right thing to do.

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We would like to see every child on an even playing field. One way we hope to further this is through our digital inclusion program. Furthering this are Cathy McMann and Alana Mullins who have donated used computers. Our computer gurus, volunteers, will give them a good going over and they will then be placed in the home of one of our students. Thanks to our volunteers and the donors for giving these children a great opportunity.

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Our penny collection has reached a new high of 1,425,950, thanks to the efforts of Mary Grooms and the Autumn Club, and Sunny Young and his customers at the Deli.

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Thirty-three children will graduate from Better Beginnings' preschool on June 13. Honored Guests who will be welcoming these children into the public school Kindergarten are Principals Martin Barlow, Joseph Chibbaro, and Debbie Feaster.

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The United Way informs us that through the State Employees program we have had an increase in the number of people who have designated Better Beginnings. These include Ansonetria Anderson, Anita Brink, Nelda Gunnell, James Haughton, Gwendolyn Seabron, Geri Wolf and others. These designations are much needed. Thank you for the response. With your help, we will keep our butterfly garden alive.

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J. B. (Mr. Jonathan) Craig remembers that "Tuesday is Paper Day" with many needed items; along with First Washington State Bank which collects pennies and paper goods from their customer. Delores Murphy, Millie K. Brown, Robert Abrams, and Doug Longenecker have donated many useful items.

Clara Martino has crocheted yet another ten blankets, our good friends Joel & Judy Larsen have made their faithful monthly contribution; and George Mullins of ConAgra Foods has generously donated four boxes of grocery products. Those welcome voices from the past, Charles & Mary O'Reilly, have donated useful items and made a contribution. Our thanks to all for caring about others.

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Aunty Penny is getting ready for the summer. She will have several nieces and nephews visiting. She is looking for ways to keep the kids busy during the school layover. If you have any thoughts for her, please let me know. Here is one for starters: Get some plaster of paris and some sand. Pour the sand in a container and dampen it. Child makes imprint of a hand or foot, pours some mixed plaster of paris into the imprint, scratches in the date and name. Leave to dry. Makes a gift to remember.

Keep those thoughts and letters coming.

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