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BETTER BEGINNINGS
PENNY PATTER |
January 27, 2004
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They stood in front of me, their eyes shining. Four-year-old Erica held out to me a paper on which she had written over and over again the word, “Sears”. Her teacher, “Miss Cecilia”*, and her friend, Jessica, stood with her, their eyes shining just as brightly. I wondered as I glanced over at “Miss Lucy”** if my eyes were as full of joy as hers. We were sitting in our office at Better Beginnings. “Miss Lucy” had suggested an offbeat addition to the classrooms’ pre-literacy learning centers. Thus, on the wall just above the writing table, with its chunky pencils and lined writing paper, was pinned |
a number of words, well logos really, that
children and families frequently see as they
make their way around the home and the community. You know, words one
often sees, like “Coke”, “Sears”, "Stop", “Cheerios”,
Windsor-Hights Herald.
And it had worked for young Erica. Here she was, having copied that word she knew over and over. We were all so full of joy. We always are at such moments. You know, something like that first step baby takes. Isn't it glorious how something as small as a new baby's smile, a child’s first step, a young student’s first printed word, can bring so much joy?
*Luz
Nereida Horta, Executive Director, Better Beginnings ** Aida Cecilia CampoVerde, Co-Director of Education, Better Beginnings |
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I was even more struck by Jessica. She had accompanied her friend and was thoroughly enjoying her friend’s achievement and recognition. Socialization, in the form of caring about others, loving others, being a friend, was the other, maybe even more significant, success story of the day. I treasured it as much or more than the more obvious one. I knew it was one that the children learned from the loving, |
caring adults who spend so much time with them. I tucked it away with many cherished memories, and now I share it with you. I do so as challenged by “Mr. Jonathan”*** to write a story on the subject of “Joy to the World”. This is my version.
*** Mr. Jonathan Craig, Advocate, Better Beginnings |
| I then challenged him to write a story for our first quarter newsletter, and he did. If you would like to have us mail a copy of | the newsletter to you, please let us know at PO Box 187, Hightstown NJ 08520, or e-mail me at bewith@mail2peace.com |
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In the workshop Dr. David Abalos so generously offered the staff of Better Beginnings, he referred to a stack of books he brought, depicting the lives of people in a wide variety of cultures. Their journeys are parallel. The protagonist is caught in a web of negativity and abuse and comes to realize that he or she is meant for better. In struggling to be free, she or he needs help. That help comes from what Dr. Abalos calls a “guide”. Here are the books he cited: |
Laura Esquivel, Like Water for Chocolate I have read three of these, the others are on my MUST READ RIGHT AWAY List. |
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Donations and Contributions have declined. I guess it must be the cold weather combined with the downhill side of the rush of generosity near the holidays. This is a reminder that need does not hibernate!
Fortunately, “Mr. Jonathan” Craig, Reg. |
Bishop of Trinity Church, the Integrated Preschool Program of Mercer Special Services School District, and Sunny Young Deli do not hibernate either! Thanks to them, we have a box of toys, books, a play rug, packages of copy paper, and pennies enough to bring our total of copper coins or equivalent to 1,520,174. Many thanks. |
| If you have some time to volunteer, we are looking for music makers, physical activity leaders, computer fixers, loving nurturers, | caring readers, and more. Hook up by calling 509-448-6225 and talk to “Miss Lucy” |
| As we wait to see if the groundhog sees his shadow, we might each ask ourselves, “Am I the type who lights a candle? Or do I | curse the darkness?” Some, of course, do both. |
| here is an indoor or outdoor activity that Penny Pincher loves because it costs nothing, nada, zilch. Can you make a hand shadow puppet? Fun! Teach a kid and | add some joy to your life and his. Teach us! I can make a quacking duck but would love to know more. |
January 20, 2004
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If you ever have another chance to attend one of Dr. Abalos’ workshops, or hear him speak, take the opportunity. You are in for a mesmerizing treat.
Each of us has a story. Some are a part of our culture. Some are individual. All have similar elements. We all have a starting place, what we were born with and into. Other similarities often include the wounded |
self, competitiveness for position and achievements, and love.
In a recent workshop, we learned that at some point, each of us realizes that we need to grow and move on in order to achieve our potential (transformation). Sometimes we get stuck. The impediment may be or include emotional, sexual or physical abuse, and/or addiction. |
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Dr. Abalos referred to a stack of books he brought, depicting the lives of people in a wide variety of cultures. Their journeys are parallel. The protagonist is caught in a web of negativity and abuse and comes to |
realize that he or she is meant for better. In struggling to be free, she or he needs help. That help comes from what Dr. Abalos calls a “guide”. |
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Many guides, during the process, become guides themselves. The true guide must love the person being guided and teaches who you are, and the whole self is involved, giving and sharing self. He/She
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Love can come in many forms. In the best sense, it can be a friend, a mate, a teacher, a child, or God and it is liberating. In the worst sense, it is binding, using a web of possessiveness, domination, and/or violence. The way in which we hug or are hugged gives a clue as to the form of love being offered. |
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For those of us at Better Beginnings, where our tenet is “Encouraging Families and Children to Reach Their Full Potential,” the workshop was very instructive.
As “Miss Janice” Jones (Co-Director of Education) stated, “We learned that we are all guides. We guide each other, and we become good guides for the children. At times, we are guides for the children’s families.” She added, “We love Dr. Abalos. He is always interesting, and we always learn from him.” Dr. Abalos, I agree, is himself a great model for a good guide. “Miss Cecilia” CampoVerde (Co-Director of Education) adds “Dr. Abalos confirmed that love is a way to freedom and that education is a way to reach life goals. He is fantastic and I feel honored to be a part of his workshops.” “Miss Cenaida” Alvarez (Bookkeeper) says that the talk was so interesting because he leaves the mind clear. We have many things now to think about, such “What kind of love do you have?” “How do people from different cultures treat each others’ feelings?” and “What is true compassion vs. someone helping another because they ‘need’ that person?” Dr. Abalos, she agrees, is an exceptional person. In the workshop entitled “To Give People Strength And Courage To Take Charge Of Their Own Lives", “Miss Althea” (Lewis), Director of Support Services, concurs that Dr. Abalos presents workshops that are interesting. He takes the time to answer questions and concerns you may have.” “Miss Brenda” Werner, K-age Teacher |
and Supervisor of
After-School Program, says, “I think that Dr. Abalos' presentation was
excellent. He reaffirmed my belief that all of us may have different
experiences in our lives but we all need acceptance and need to become
the person God intended us to become. No one has
the right to stifle another's growth. We all have a special purpose and
should be given every opportunity to realize our dreams. The fact that
one may not have been born in the United States does not make anyone
inferior. We need to learn the stories of others before we criticize or
deny them the opportunity to live in a secure and peaceful place.”
“Miss Iris” Rodriquez (Administrative Assistant) adds, “Dr. Abalos re-affirmed for me again that communication is very important. Dr. Abalos is always interesting. It is amazing to find so much generosity in just one person. I feel lucky.” “Miss Lucy” Horta (Executive Director) felt it was important that we were reminded that “guides” come in all colors, sizes and shapes; that people we encounter in life may play a crucial role in where we go in life, and most importantly, that each of us can, unknowingly, be leading or moving someone to the final act of transformation. Dr. Abalos, she avers, doesn’t speak to people; he speaks to the soul. Guides are important because sometimes we are very critical and hard on ourselves, she adds. Sometimes our life experience blinds us and we need guides to remove the blinders. Life is about moving forward and guides help us with the cost of moving. If God thought we could go at it alone, she avers, we would be but one. |
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Dr. Abalos, speaks not just to the soul; he recognizes all kinds of hunger. After providing this intense and inspirational 4-hour practicum, this incredible man bought us lunch. He is a professor at Seton Hall and at Princeton. He is a nationally recognized and is a sought after speaker and leader. He takes a precious Saturday |
morning to spend with us, at no cost to us, and then buys US lunch. He touches our lives and we touch others. He tosses a stone in the water and the ripples spread out to touch shore near and far. On behalf of all those lives so touched now and in the future, thank you. |
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On these frigid mornings, you may have trouble unlocking your car door. Here is a tip someone sent in: Spray the lock with |
Pam or WD40. I haven’t tried it. I hope it works for you if you need it. |
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Many thanks to our supportive friends, who are like the salt of the earth to us. Like the salt that keeps on pouring, they keep on giving. Among them, Anna Ward finds many ways: she is keyed into our activities. Some times it is a collection of pennies, sometimes a generous contribution; this time, it is two large bags of yarn. For the anonymous family, this time it is toys |
and puzzles. From Roger Hummel Jr., a member of the First Presbyterian Church, it is a radio and a camcorder. For “Mr. Jonathan” Craig and Trinity Church of Princeton, this time it is a bag of dress-up clothes (in direct response to our request), from Lisa Murphy it is winter coats, boots and a snowsuit (right on time for the “big freeze”). Thank you, friends. |
| Comments? Ideas for Penny Pincher? Want to volunteer, donate, or contribute? Write to me at bewith@mail2peace.com |
or snail mail PO Box 187 Hightstown NJ 08520. Or Call Luz Nereida Horta at 609-448-6226. |
January 13, 2004
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"I made a mistake." I know that doesn't surprise you, since you already know I am only human. Why is it so hard, I wonder, to admit a mistake? Where does it come from, this need to be perfect? Or perhaps I should say, the need to maintain a façade of being perfect? |
v h As early childhood specialists, we learn that it is very empowering to young children when an adult acknowledges a mistake. Since they are learning, taking risks every day, it helps them to know that others, especially adults, also make mistakes, and it is okay. |
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The fact is that we adults who have this perfectionist hang-up can learn a lot from the kids: they are willing to risk failure. In fact, they are quick to pick themselves up and keep trying and trying until they succeed. They often throw in a giggle or a hearty laugh. Those who are afraid to take the risk of failing do not venture far from the safe haven of mediocrity. One of my favorite "games" with the children is to "try" to sing a familiar song to them, but with the words garbled. "Rudolph the blue-nosed reindeer", I will sing. No-No-No, the little ones will say, "It's red --- Rudolph's nose is RED!" I will blunder my way through the song. "Had a very shiny ear!" "NO! Nose!" "And if you ever smelled him." "NO NO, saw!" |
The children are patient with me as line by line they teach me the "right words". All of us will be laughing. I will be saying, over and over, "I made a mistake" They will say, "That's all right. It's okay!" Occasionally one will put hands on hips and act exasperated with me. They are very, very understanding. By the time I get all the way through the song, they actually cheer and applaud me. Loudly. And I applaud them, for being such good teachers. Lest you think this is my original thought, here is a quotation from The Note Book by Elbert Hubbard in 1927 written before I was born: "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." I wish someone had told my folks. We really need to give each other more permission to make mistakes. |
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There are, of course, some things about which we should be meticulous and as perfect as possible. This includes the way a not-for-profit maintains its records, particularly its financial records. It also includes the safety measures any of us maintains. Most importantly, it pertains to the way we treat others, especially young children. In these matters we strive always to be as nearly perfect as can be.
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v h At Better Beginnings, we take pride in noting that our annual audits have been without exception (i.e. "perfect") year after year, for years and years and years. Most of the credit for that goes to Luz N. Horta, now the Executive Director, and to Liston Abbott, the Board Chair, who spent thousands of hours constructing the computer programs that help in keeping excellent records. No mistake, they are particularly particular about such matters. |
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The holiday spirit continues: Anonymous brought by a tree with all the decorations, making someone's spirits bright. United Way periodic contributions have arrived. Thank you to Abraham Vailath (Deloitte & Touch), K. B. Bruschi (IBM), Kenneth Jacob, Michele Madonia (Merrill Lynch), Theodore Lucas, Debbi S. Martinez (Johnson & Johnson) for designating Better Beginnings for your contribution. Mark Moffa made a supportive contribution and Albert Grupper added a substantial amount to our penny collection. "Mr. Jonathan" Craig from Trinity Church shared four cartons of books. Paper Day is every Tuesday and right on time were Linda Trost with construction paper, markers, crayon markers, crayons and more. Also, Tamsen C. Granger with many kinds of paper goods including construction paper, paper towels, tissues, copy paper and more. Shirley Vassall donated toys, and Tom and Nancy Roach donated pencils and collected pennies for us. More pennies were added by Shirley Vassall as well as Shantell and Alisha from the Lollipops. |
v h Generosity abounds, with contributions from Nancy Walker Laudenberger and husband, Dr. John Laundenberger, Rev. Barbara McDonald and husband G. H. McDonald, from long time friend Bill Craig in memory of his wife Estelle Craig, from another long time friend Carol Sprout, from MaryAnne Reeves from a long line of supporters, from good friend Jeff Eder, and faithful monthly contribution from Ondina and Will Jeffers. Very touching, we also received the bounty from a month-long theme about caring from the fourth grade class at Millstone River School. Ms. Marianne MacNamara and Ms. Marlene G. Brown sought to make the experience real by having the children experience the "joy of making someone's holiday a bit happier."
Many thanks to each of you, and to everyone who has helped in one way or another to keep Better Beginnings' doors open. I think you are just perfect! |
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Dr. David Abalos will provide a workshop for Better Beginnings staff on Saturday, January 17, from 9 am until 1 pm, at Better Beginnings. The subject is Cultural Competency and Conflict Resolution. Dr. Abalos explains that cultural competency consists of knowing and understanding the stories that have shaped a person’s understanding of self, others and the society around them. Conflict resolution means knowing how to defuse a hostile situation and transforming it into an opportunity for |
v achieving justice and compassion. In order to do this we need to have an awareness of one another’s stories. Dr. Abalos will guide us as we learn about some of each other's stories. Come join us. Dr. Abalos is a well known speaker and a Professor who shares his talents and expertise with us gratis, and we thank him for supporting Better Beginnings in so many ways. |
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The Mayors' Shining Star Gala is now scheduled for Sunday, April 25 at the Ramada Inn. Infusing new joy and excitement into the plans are Kerrie Peterson who is chairing the committee and new and vibrant committee members Amanda Porter, Jamie Clarke, Marjorie Grill, Kathy Patten, Deb Roca and Suzanne Schafter-Coates. Also serving, equally enthusiastic and committed are Board members Liston Abbott, Susie Lloyd, Pete |
Bussone, Carol Jones, Deb Napolitano, and Dodie Colavecchio, and Executive Director, Luz N. Horta. Many thanks to these energetic community members and long-time supporters. Thank you to each of you for being so willing to share your time and expertise for the benefit of Better Beginnings: You are a perfect example of sharing your gifts for the benefit of all |
Child and Adult together can make this: Mix two cups of flour, one cup of salt, one cup of water, a tablespoon of cooking oil. Add food coloring and/or a scent such as peppermint for added interest. When not in
v h use, wrap and keep in refrigerator. This is fun, educational (math, science, creative). In addition, a lot of tension leaves the body while kneading and rolling the "clay".. Have fun! Who cares if it’s perfect?
| Do you have comments? Suggestions? Ideas for Penny Pincher? E-mail me at bewith@mail2peace.com or PO Box 187, Hightstown, NJ 08520. Better Beginnings, you may make a |
v h virtual visit to www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc or to the center located in The First Presbyterian Church School Rooms at 318 North Main St., Hightstown NJ. Share the Joy! |