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| BETTER BEGINNINGS PENNY PATTER |
August 20, 2004
| Treat others as you want to be treated" is
a broad statement that encompasses the various versions, twelve of which I
have hanging on my wall. Some are complete. Some are partial. But all of
them refer to the belief that if we follow this rule that we will all be
able to live harmoniously. Then, I asked last week, why is it that so many
of us acknowledge the benefits of this rule, but so few of us follow it?
Luz Nereida Horta, our Executive Director, gave this some thought and responded, "Treat others as you would want others to treat you," is only of value if the way you want to be treated is humane. For |
example, some gang members, not all, lose the
sense of life or don't value life." She gleaned this knowledge from a
documentary in which gang members were interviewed. "Some of the
teenagers had already picked out the clothes they wanted to be buried in.
Death was what they expected."
I can only wonder how these teenagers came to value themselves so little. I am reminded that we (adults, teachers, families) need to apply the golden rule to our interactions with children. Let us not forget that "Kids are People Too." |
| Some more definitions from our young community
members:
"People sharing." C. J. Martin "Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi were leaders of peace. I hope I can be too." Valentina. |
"No more wars." Gisselle
"Peace is good. Should be world wide." Randall "Peace is love." Joshua |
| In the classroom the rule is less ambiguous. To
the child who has not yet learned that his hitting hurts others, we say,
"You don't like it when someone hits you. Neither do I. And I don't
like it when you hit our friend, Exxie, either. Hitting hurts. You don't
like to get hit and hurt. So kindly refrain from hitting and hurting
others. It hurts them just like it hurts you."
It is when adults get into the mix that it sometimes gets confusing. A grown person might instruct the child, "If someone hits you, hit ‘em back." In my peaceful setting, I disagree. Accelerating the hitting only increases the hurting; which increases the hitting, maybe involving others, and so on and on. Someone needs to step back and use their words, "I don't like that." There will be no hitting in my classroom, thank you very much. Or in my home. I wish ….. oh how I |
wish …. that I could say the same for my
world.
In this example, some think that the child who hits is "getting away" with something. In fact, we ask that the two talk out the problem and arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution (mediation). Often the problem is that two children want the same toy at the same time. The children problem-solve until they can work out a mutually satisfactory way that they can share and take turns. If hitter will not calm down, we ask him to spend some time "thinking" until he has himself under control. We shun grabbing and hitting. We learn to take the consequences if we choose poorly. Most of all, the children are in an accepting, caring atmosphere, a great benefit when learning to love and live peacefully. |
| Penny Pincher got a tip from someone this week. You know those workbooks with written exercises in them? Penny’s friend, Sybil Centz, suggests using one of those plastic page protectors to cover the page. Use it as a sleeve, cutting off the side with holes if need be. Young student can then | use crayons or erasable markers to complete the page. The sleeve can be removed, cleaned up, and returned to the page (or another page) for another young student (whether in the school or in the home.) |
| The very afternoon that the article appeared in
the Herald about our School Supplies project, the goods began to roll in.
Denise Milot was first, then Angela Watkins. Denise is a long-time
generous supporter. Angela is in a position to know, having been a member
of our Board of Directors and had a child enrolled in one of our few
"over income" slots. Her sister, Sherry Watkins, still has a
child enrolled here, and is President of the Parent Group and a member of
our Board of Directors. Both are generous with their time and their
expertise, and it is especially touching that they both want to assure
that all of our children get off to a good start in public school. Equally
in a position to know is Jill Guarracino, a Delaware University student
working at Better Beginnings this summer who, together with her mother,
Vera Wojtowicz, donated a book bag with pencils and pens.
Dr. David Abalos, our staunch supporter, was once again "Dr. David on the spot" with a generous contribution as well as supplies. The contribution will be used to buy certificates so that the children will pick out their own book bags. Denise Giannone, supplied two book bags, one for a boy and one for a girl. She added useful supply items for others as well. She said, "I know you guys are doing a great job for these kids and I would like to help." "Big Al" Geller brought in many items such as |
colored pencils, magic markers, notebooks,
pencils, pens, composition books, and more. We are happy to add him to our
growing list of generous community supporters.
In additions, we have also received an Action Factory with a table from Douglas Mariboe, and a wealth of assorted goods, toys, and other items from Dr. David Goldstein, and Loida Wilson. Denise Milot also added to our penny and coin collection with the equivalent of 3500 pennies. In a world where many of our families are working a minimum wage and less, often working more than one job, in their determination to provide for their families, we are so gratified to know that there are such generous, caring people in our community. The investment in the well-being of these children is worthy; nurturing them with the assurance that they are loved and that they are valued is priceless. Thank you, especially, to the Herald editor Mark Moffa and writer Melissa Kadish for caring about the needs of our young students, and to the EWRSD Board of Education members (especially Susan Lloyd) and to our new Superintendent, Dr. Ronald E. Bolandi) for understanding and responding to the needs of children and families. |
| Please write to me at bewith@mail2peace.com; or PO Box 187, Hightstown NJ 08520. Remember you can visit our Web site at | www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc. You can also call Better Beginnings at (609) 448-6226. |
|
Bettie Witherspoon is a former executive director of Better Beginnings, which has provided affordable child care to the East Windsor/Hightstown area since 1967. |
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