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BETTER BEGINNINGS
PENNY PATTER
August 26, 2003
| I, too, have a dream. I imagine most of us do. It may be tucked away, never verbalized, but there. My maternal grandfather had a dream. I never heard him say so. He just lived it. His dream was to come to the | "Land of Plenty" and find a way to make a living. He did not yet know English. He just came. He was very talented, and adept in several intelligences. And he was very brave. |
| For some, the dream is simple: to earn enough to provide food and shelter for the family, including enough to send back to those left behind in another | country. In time, the dream grows to include having enough money to buy suitable clothes for the children, even enough to buy school supplies. |
| There are some things of which I might have dreamed had I but the knowledge and good sense to do so. Thank goodness someone did. An example of the fruition of someone's dream from which I am benefiting right now is: | a medication I take once a week that prevents further osteoporosis-related bone deterioration. There are many others. Some, praise them, are working on a cure for cancer. |
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I have been blessed to walk on this earth at the same time as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I was one of those that sat on the long lawn beside the reflection pool between the Lincoln Memorial and Washington monument 40 years ago. His dream was one that dwelt in our hearts, but he had the gift of being able to articulate it and bring us together in amazing synergy. He asked for nothing new: just that freedom, justice and equality under the law be extended to all. And, of course, that everyone would be judged by the nature of their character, not by the color of their skin. |
Ironic that this man who believed, like Mahatma Gandhi, in peaceful resistance should be violently blown away for those very beliefs. I was still young enough, naive enough, in those days to be shocked. To this day I am still shocked when I observe those who have been oppressed, make a little progress, and then turn around to oppress the next group struggling to make it. Whatever happened to treating others as one wishes to be treated? Brother Martin, we still need you and your messages of brotherhood. |
| Oh, yes, I am still a dreamer. I have a personal dream, now that I am an elder, and it is simply this: that I will be treated with dignity, and be loved and | respected for the rest of my life. But then, I guess, that is probably what all of us, in our heart of hearts, want for ourselves, and others. |
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I asked some of my friends on Staff and Board of Better Beginnings to share their dream(s):
(Note that salaries at Better Beginnings have been frozen for four years due to funding shortages.) |
Board of Directors of Better Beginnings for many years. She volunteers her time and expertise to help us make that particular dream come true in our area. |
| If you have a dream, and if you work constructively to achieve that dream, it can come true. |
| If so, would you like to share it with us? We would like to hear it. |
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Jodie Hiles sent twenty beautiful skeins of yarn. Of course, we can use them for a multitude of craft projects. Just today many of the children in the Super Dooper class were using the hole punch to make "sewing cards". They were using yarn for the "sewing". The yarn is variegated and so pretty, though, that I want to snatch it up and crochet some hats for the children's holidays. So many are not used to our cold winters. Knowing, as I do, though, that I am unlikely to get around to crocheting all those hats, we will probably pass most of it along to Clara Martino to make blankets for the children. Linda Trost of the Junior Friday Club is a long time dream maker. She again collected many books for the children. I |
was particularly glad to get Suzy Prudden's Exercise Program for young children, because we have been concentrating quite a lot this month on both the creative and athletic physical and gross motor development section of our curriculum. Another new friend for Better Beginnings: Making our day and week with a generous contribution and many toys is Margaret Duperreault. Thank you Margaret. We love to make new friends. A staunch good friend is Joan A. Gordon, an elder at the Presbyterian Church of Hightstown, and long time supporter. She will make another family's dream come true: she donated a computer, printer and speaker. |
| If you have a dream, a tip for Penny Pincher, a suggestion, a comment, please write to me at bewith@mail2peace.com, or PO Box 187, Hightstown NJ 08520. | If you want to visit another dream come true, visit Better Beginnings' website at http://www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc. |
August 19, 2003
| Joyce is such a beautiful name. I sometimes think that it is a contraction of "Joyful by Choice". While I may and do wish you Joy, it really is up to you. Do you notice and delight in a multitude of things throughout the day? Do you find joy in your undertakings, in small and large interactions and accomplishments (yours and others)? Are you adept at turning a "challenge" into an opportunity? Does the color of the sky sometimes make you catch your breath? | Or do you, on the other hand, mumble and grumble your way through your day? Do you find fault with others and your circumstances? Do you find something negative in every event and circumstance? Do you delight in making fun of others, even groups of people you don't know? Are you a wealth of derogatory remarks? |
| If you are one described in paragraph one, I can predict with near certainly that others en-JOY being around you. You both find and bring joy. If, on the other hand, you are frequently mucking around in the mire of misery described secondly, your associates are most likely unhappy and, sadly, you are too. You may feel it |
increases your self-worth to deride others, but the truth is,
in your own heart and in others’ eyes, but …it doesn’t..
Actually, most of us are somewhere between the two. What a joy to know that just by being more watchful, we can increase our joy quotient. |
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In keeping gratitude journals, we list each day things for which they are grateful. A close relative would be a joy journal. We would learn to be deliberate about observing and jotting down our moments of joy. I am going to ask our young people to do this. It could be a great pick-me-upper to review when a moment of sadness or hurt intrudes. I do hope you will join in. We might even be tempted to create some moments of joy! I hope you will even share some of your joys with us. |
I will probably find myself doing a lot of writing! While I experience many moments of joy, I also witness a multitude, and I share that joy, too. Little children openly display such unmitigated joy …. Every discovery, every accomplishment, every little moment is a fount of wonder and joy for them. Oh, what sparkling eyes you see when a young student masters a new skill! Usually, they demonstrate the new skill over and over, with enthusiastic exuberance, saying, "Look what I can do!" |
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Millie K. Brown brings us heaps of magazines and what a good thing that is too. We like to have many photographic images of all races, colors, creeds, ages, etc. These magazines Millie K. collects and brings provide us those, and more. |
For any theme, the children are able to find many pictures to tear out or cut.. We especially like the photographic images because it gives the children a more realistic view than a drawing would. |
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In a multicultural setting, we need to have a wide variety of figures for use in imaginative play, in the block corner, in the literacy area, … all around. This can be costly, and the figures can get lost or wear out. Some are not safe. Often the figures are not available in the variety we want. |
What the Pincher does is this: she finds photographs that show the person head to toe, often in catalogs or store flyers. She cuts these out and then glues them around the inner roll from paper towels. The children like them, and have now begun to make their own. Optionally, they can be covered with clear contac paper. |
How to be Happy #6
Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
Penny Pincher especially likes this one; so does her cousin, Common Cents!
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If you choose to dwell on the joyful moments of your daily life, you will have |
inner joy, be a joy to be around, and be more likely to bring joy to others. |
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One of the joys of my life is the way community friends find so many
ways to support our service to working families and children. First
priority to our program is given to the poorest of the poor, and to
children who have been abused, abandoned and neglected.
Marian Walmsley, a frequent donor, brought two girl’s bikes. Our dilemma: which two girls will receive. We decided to hold a drawing at our next Parent/Staff meeting. Ondina and Will Jeffers make a faithful monthly contribution in addition to finding many other ways to encourage and support. Deb Meixler, one of our Hadassah "Read2Me" volunteers, brought many useful items including, surprise, surprise, books. Reg. Bishop of Trinity Church in Princeton, through |
our faithful friend J. B. (Mr. Jonathan) Craig, brought many
items including the ever popular legos, a fire engine, a doll house and much
more. New friends, Lisa and Charlie Ernst, just dropped off toys,
books and games, telling me that they read about us in this column. Oh, joy!
Dear friends, Dr. David Abalos and Dr. Celia Abalos, have once again given a morale boost to our staff. Each staff member received a gift certificate to a local store. It is unfortunate that early childhood professionals still are numbered among the working poor. While the intrinsic rewards bring much joy to our dedicated staff, such recognition is very welcome and appreciated. |
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You might enjoy reading more about Better Beginnings at www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc. Write to me at PO Box 187, Hightstown NJ 08520 or to |
bewith@mail2peace.com, sharing a joyful moment, an idea, a suggestion for Penny Pincher, a positive consequence, or just your remarks. |
August 12, 2003
| The word "peace" connotes many things. For the mother of two sets of triplets, it surely is coupled with "and quiet", and is a welcome respite. For a woman or child being beaten by a drunken family member, it certainly means absence of conflict and pain. For a military combatant, it probably means armistice. | For a man or woman stressed out after a hard day at work, cooling out beside a beautiful lake, it probably means tranquility and calm. For a student being bullied, it must mean the absence of intimidation and fear. In all these cases, peace is earnestly to be desired. |
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At National Night Out on August 5, Better Beginnings staff and family
members again offered a toy weapon exchange. Young participants were also
asked to write something about peace on paper shaped like a dove. After
about 75 or 80 visitors, a whole covey of peaceful birds were in flight!
Some of the sayings were:
Alyssa: Peace means growing up without worry of conflict and witnessing others suffer. Avery: To be able to love your neighbors as yourself. Ashley: No war, fighting or violence. Chris: Get rid of guns. Jared: No fear, no evil, no harm. Milo: Playing without fear. Anonymous: Every person is equal, so please let there be peace. Kristen: To me peace means everyone gets along. Nicole: To me, peace means friendliness, happiness and trust. Angela: Peace starts in our world! Jared: To me, peace means to go wherever you want and be safe. Ajani: Helping and getting along with each other. |
Aneri: Peace means all countries are friends.
Katie: Peace means getting along with your friends. Anonymous: Peace means being able to be a true family. Jacob: We have to pray a lot so we could have peace in the world. Joel: To have peace in the world, we have to be better people. Kaitlin: Love everyone. Yash: Peace makes world beautiful. Sejal: Peace means freedom. Jonathan: People love. Lindsey: What peace means to me is no fighting and no wars. Cynthia: When the family is together. Brandon: el respeto a los domas (Respect to others). Melina: S anos respeto al de redro ajeno (Respect for others' rights) Janelsy: Peace means to me that the world is a place where everybody gets along with each other. These thoughtful thinkers, ranging in age from 2 to 12, are telling us …… what peace is, and what we need to do to get it. Salutations! |
| At 8:00 p.m. on that night, several of our PACT students, Tyshawn, Jalen, Tasia, Paula, Shontel and Tiarra, presented a skit. The subject was how to say no to drugs, a topic that has been discussed throughout the year. Statistics show that children who are taught about the | danger of taking drugs are less likely to get involved with substance abuse, according to Brenda Werner, Supervisor of our School-age Programs. The enthusiastic audience enjoyed the young thespians' knowledge and talent. |
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For the giver, there is a warm feeling that derives from helping others;
for the receiver the inner turmoil of unmet need is reduced. The
Presbyterian Church "Lighthouse Kids" Vacation Bible School
leaders and participants exemplify this axiom. They presented us with a
huge box of "back to school" items individuals had generously
donated, including CD games, book bags, crayons, markers, pencils, glue
sticks, erasers, construction paper, pens, glue, scissors, chalk, brushes,
and craft materials.
Week upon week, "Mr. Jonathan" Craig, |
representing Trinity Church of Princeton, finds many items to share with our children
and families. This week it was booster seats, a child seat, cube toy,
table game set, plastic car and a bag of toys. Fortunately, he was kind
enough to wash them thoroughly before bringing them in because they hardly
hit our hallway before a number of children were putting them into
enthusiastic use.
Many thanks to all for giving from your bounty, and may it be returned to you manifold. |
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In an article in the East Windsor Area Hadassah newsletter, Sylvia Weiss
describes a delightful hour that "Mrs. Debbie" Meixler, one of
the "Read2Me" volunteers spent with the children at Better
Beginnings. "First she read and shared pictures in an animal book.
They made animal sounds and then played guessing game based on the sounds.
They had fun with a singalong, and the grand finale was Deb's introduction
of a "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in a round. What a joyful
noise." Mrs. Weiss, know as "Grandma Sylvia" at Better
Beginnings, adds: Spending an hour a week at Better Beginnings is really a
great way to "give back, each of us in our own way." We thank
you so much.
Kerrie Peterson Bussone is one |
energetic, multi-talented, giving person. Added to that, she has a response time of almost zero. I'm betting that everything on her "List of Things to Do for Others" is crossed off before it even gets on the list! On Friday, she read about our need for Music and Movement/Physical Development Leaders and on Monday morning she was in the classroom, providing just what was needed. Most young children learn by doing and using their bodies, as well as a lot of exercise and practice at new skills. And she gave them just that. For example, they learned about names of body parts by using those parts; they learned about over and under by placing their body parts over and under other body parts. Thank you, Kerrie, for sharing so much of your love and talents with us. |
| If you want to comment, offer suggestions for Penny Pincher, or a Positive Consequence, please write to me at BeWith@mail2Peace.com, | or PO Box 187, Hightstown, NJ 08520; if you want to know more about Better Beginnings, please visit www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc |
August 5, 2003
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Working parents have it tough! We all know that
the parent has two full-time jobs: making a home for the family is a
full-time proposition. It gets really rough for those who may need to hold
more than one paying job just to have enough for necessities such as food
and a roof.
Added to the guilt is the knowledge expressed in a recent study showing that |
most parents say it’s important to spend quality time with their children. Ninety-four percent said that they see a relationship between the amount of meaningful time adults spend with children and the way kids deal with such major issues as substance abuse and discipline. (Survey conducted for Boys & Girls Clubs of America and the nonprofit group KidsPeace.) |
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And of course, there are people like me, encouraging parents to find alternative activities to TV watching. TV is sometimes known as the "babysitter" for hassled parents. We believe that children who witness much violence on TV are more likely to be aggressive and less compassionate; in fact they become desensitized to violence, even death. For a young child not yet able to distinguish between "real and pretend", "the boob tube" adds to the confusion. Some of what is on TV (the news, often |
violent is real; while a real-appearing story is fiction). Even, maybe especially, cartoons are violent. Now the American Academy of Pediatrics are adding to the hue and cry. Too much TV time, they opine, adds to the growing concern about obesity, as well as the onset of diabetes. They suggest more time at other activities, with the emphasis on outdoor large motor activities. |
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Parents who place a priority on spending time with their children will
never regret it. Other studies show that children are much influenced by
their parents’ opinions. Peers have influence, yes, but not as much as
parents. This is from teens who may appear to "dis" their
parents, but inside, where it counts… your opinion is valued.
Taking a walk together is a great idea. He, and maybe you too, need the physical exercise, and it is a great time to have meaningful and loving discussions. About the TV: I know, I know. Sometimes it is the easiest thing to do: park the kid in front of the |
fascinating TV while you deal with adult stuff. I acknowledge that there are very many valuable programs on TV that increase learning and knowledge. Choose one of those options. Another possibility, when you are looking for something to entertain your child, how about providing one of those book/tape combos, a musical tape, a pre-approved video. If at all possible, let him be with you instead, joining in on a chore, or just chatting. For example, he may sort socks while you fold the laundry. You can make your own book/tape combos, you know, by reading to a tape, and assigning your child to ring a bell when you signal that it is time for a page change. |
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Friends, Families, Neighbors: If you see that a parent is so harassed and so stressed that they are unable to give quality time to the child, offer a helping |
hand. Take the time to toss a ball around or read a story. You, too, will be glad you did. |
| Cristina Gil, age 15, is sharing her special talent for dance and music with our children this summer. Who is more delighted, me or the children, it is hard to | tell. Thank you, Cristina. You are filling a great need we have here for "music makers", and providing a wonderful way for children to learn and grow. |
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Care Providers, Teachers: Our role as daytime surrogate parents is all the more important. We need to provide a nurturing, caring environment that gives attention to the individual needs of the children, including the cognitive, |
physical and emotional. We need to do everything we can to assure that our children develop a positive self-image and good character. What we do counts and resonates. |
But the first and lasting teacher always has been and always will be …. The parent. We are proud to give you a hand. |
Giving Time, Talent and Goods:
Life for the children at Better Beginnings is made brighter because of friends like Keith and Karen Schwacha, who donated 43 books plus games and puzzles; Charles & Mr. O’Reilly who donated a picnic table and make a contribution; our friends and compatriots at Dutch Neck Nursery School, who donated games; "Mr. Jonathan" Craig
These are from our
friend, Mark Magee:
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| Penny Pincher loves this game which we call Rhyme Time: it costs no money at all, and builds imagination and literacy skills. It is a good one for a long car ride, too. Ask child to create a rhyme that describes an unkind vegetable (mean bean), an overheated cooking pan |
(hot pot), a piece of furniture that is crimson (red bed). For the very young ones, you may need to break it down further. Give them one of the words and ask them to supply the other …. A piece of furniture that is red, for instance. |
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If you have an idea for Penny Pincher, a Positive Consequence, or just wish to comment, write to me at bewith@mail2peace.com or PO Box 187, Hightstown, NJ 08520. |
Further information about Better Beginnings? Visit our website at www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc. |
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