August 27, 2002
September 11 is drawing nigh, fraught with sadness, anger, fear. We wonder how well we will handle the reminder, and how it will affect the children we hold so dear.

School doors will soon re-open and for many, that, too, is fraught with anxiety, and, in some cases, fear and anger, even sadness. Some are being bullied from without and, sometimes, from within. Some are resorting to being bullies. Some will be trying things we wish they would not.

Some parents are wondering what they can do to be more involved with their children's education and life: they want so much for them. Teachers are wondering, too, how they can involve all families in their children's education.

I have some material on these subjects which I am, as always, glad to share. For today, it seems to me that the effort to build a feeling of self-worth in our children is basic. It affects all of the above, and more.

The stock market is another source of anxiety these days. Let's put that aside for the moment, and invest in some "futures". Let's give each child a good rating. They are a growth stock. Children have a way of becoming what we tell them they are (the old self-fulfilling prophecy trick). If we continually tell a child in word and action that he is not worth much, he will certainly adapt to this opinion. On the other hand, if we assure each child that he is loved unconditionally, he will thrive. (The old "We do not like the THING you did, but we love YOU, regardless, without question" trick.)

WHY then do I still hear parents/caretakers hollering at their kids in the supermarket? "GET over here! What's the matter with you. Can't you be good for two minutes straight?" I cringe. The child is humiliated and ashamed. I swear I think she would have hit him if I hadn't looked at her funny.

In one store, a woman snapped, "Because I say so, that's why" when a little girl asked why she couldn't have a drink. A man went right over and started talking to the child, a little girl this time, like she was a human being. "I can see you are tired." The child looked up at him as if he were some kind of angel. Tears began to run down her face. "I am just thirsty." she said.

I wanted to cry, too.

Take stock: Draw interest. Maybe we need to learn from our own experiences. One woman told me she would have been beaten black and blue if she "back talked" her mother. If we were, in our youth, made to feel no good, incompetent, worthless, maybe it has affected our outlook towards our own children. On the other hand, if we can re-learn, much is to be gained. If we reassure our children that they are competent, commenting on their numerous accomplishments, they will have greater confidence to approach anything that life throws them. They will feel less powerless and more adept, able to shrug off bullies and turn down opportunities to use drugs or engage in violence. They will feel able and ready to tackle school work and other constructive activities. Verbal approval and words of encouragement can nurture that wonderful spark every child has.

I would like to see more people take that option.

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Penny Pincher has met her match: Dollar Stretcher. She jumped right over mere nickels and dimes, and grabbed the big guy. She says he has pull. In any case, from stretcher.com, Dollar Stretcher Tips, she learned how to pad hangers at minimum cost. She discovered that one can buy felt with peel-off backing. She cut it into narrow strips and peeled off the back, and pressed them firmly around the wire on both sides. Lo and behold, it saves cleaning bills too, because now dresses and suits don't fall off the plastic or wire hangers onto the closet floor.. And the wire hangers that were on their way to the landfill have found a few life.
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Many thanks to Judy & Joel Larsen who faithfully remember us every month with their regular pledge. And a special thanks to "God's Little Helpers" from the First Presbyterian Church of Hightstown's Vacation Bible School who collected and donated many much-needed classroom materials and art supplies.

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Copper Coin Collection has reached 1,442,226 in pennies or equivalent, thanks to faithful friends at Sunny Young Deli.

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Someone made my day! A bagful of coffee cans in all sizes was left by our front door. I don't know who brought them, but they must have seen my request. The children are making their own musical instruments for the Better Beginnings' birthday party on September 16. Coffee cans, of course, make great drums. More are needed. Paper goods of all kinds, including construction paper are also needed.
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If you want to remember someone in a special way, think of this: You can make a contribution in their name to Better Beginnings' endowment fund. At your direction, a certificate will be mailed to you, or, if you wish, it will be sent directly to the recipient. Better Beginnings will act promptly and an acknowledgement will be sent to you. The children will also send you an appreciation gift for caring about their present needs and future hopes.

Contributions to Better Beginnings' endowment fund are invested for the purpose of earning revenue to help the center meet expenses now and in the future. The long range goal is to insure the center's stability, by increasing revenue in order to adequately compensate staff, and decreasing unending threats of cuts in funding. In a real sense, the contribution is a living gift, which will be perpetuated over many years ahead, empowering children and families to provide for themselves and reach their full potential.

Something good is going to happen to you this week-end. I don't know what it is, but it will happen. When it does, let me know. You can email me at bewith@mail2peace.com or snail mail me at PO Box 187 Hightstown NJ 08520.

August 18, 2002

One of my bubbles was burst almost before it hit the air. I am building "bubble learning packs". Using gallon-size plastic bags that zip, I tuck in a variety of learning activities with all the materials and equipment needed for completion. For example, one bag contains a drawing of a house using shapes, all the cutout shapes necessary to fill in the picture, and a glue stick. In true "print-rich environment" fashion, of course, the name of each one of the shapes is printed. The idea is that the young student, at free choice time, can select an activity and have everything needed right there to complete it. Better Beginnings' Executive Director Luz Nereida Horta, always safety conscious, warns: Use a hole punch or other device to make breathing holes in the bags as small children might smother if they stuck them on their heads.

Bubble activities can be sequenced. In the next step, the pack will include scissors so the student can do the cutting; in a later step, the student will draw the house herself. Learning objectives include building competence and self-image, developing fine motor control, and visual perception (comparing and matching), different parts of a whole, and relationships.. I made the containers for the bubble packs out of cereal boxes, turned inside out and decorated. Penny Pincher is proud of me.

I was thinking that these packs would be a great way to send home material for parents and children to work on together. But that would take a LOT of gallon size zip lock plastic bags. Aha, bubble packs would be terrific to take on a car trip with young children. Then I mused that gallon-size freezer bags and glue sticks had not hit the market when I my daughter was a little girl. I thought hmmm, maybe I've got something here; maybe we can market them and make money for Better Beginnings. Later I talked to someone who had just been on a four-hour car trip with her two children.. Then, bang, my bubble burst.

Hand held games are all the rage on car trips now, I was informed. No more counting how many red cars or blue cars we can see, or finding a certain letter in a sign, or looking for state names on license plates. No more watching for octagonal stop signs or counting tires on a truck. No more, "Look at the cow-cow". Something is lost. I feel sad. Oh sure, I know that many of those computer games are learning games, and have their place in our high-tech society. But, please NOT to the exclusion of the great out doors, human interaction, and the wonders of reading; and please, please NOT the violent ones.

If you like the idea of bubble packs, I am making a list of various possibilities. If you would like a copy, or have an idea to add, please let me know. Bewith@mail2peace.com or PO Box 187, Hightstown, NJ 08520.
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In preparation for a big birthday party for Better Beginnings, the children are building a rhythm band. They need coffee cans and other basic items. The party will be held on September 16, so the sooner the beater. Classrooms also need construction and other kinds of paper as they will also be making their own birthday hats. Paper towel rolls for making horns and shakers will be appreciated. And, oh yes, we have a use for old "c.d."s so please think about us before you toss them.
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Someone sent me this quotation from Sydney Smith, an English clergyman. It appeals to my mathematical reasoning side of the brain. He suggested, "Try to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years, you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment." What a mind boggler! It makes me just want to run out and start making people happy. But then I ask, "What can I do to make someone happy?" "Who can I do this making-happy to?"

Needless to say, I like to direct most of my happy-making to the children. That makes it easy for me. When they are happy, you very well know it. They are happy when you pay attention to them and what they are saying. They are happy when they get a good meal. They are happy when they learn something new. They are happy when you read them a good story. They are happy when they fall down and you attend to their hurt. Wait, that's not so different from what makes adults happy, is it?? Hmmmmm.
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The best part of this happy-making is that it rubs off. Go ahead, make somebody happy and check it out. Mr. Jonathan Craig can tell you. When he saw how happy the children were with the plastic slide he brought them, via Trinity Church in Princeton, and how they all wanted a turn, he solved that problem in a wink. He went to the same source and brought another. Now the kids are twice as happy and so is he!

Happy, too, am I. A contribution from Wilfred and Ondina Jeffers, right out of the blue, to help Ondina's "sugar bushes" at Better Beginnings, with encouragement for our work with our children … our present, past and future." And Ann Freund continues to make us happy too, with valuable donations and adding to our penny collection.
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One more happy thought: National Night Out, sponsored by the East Windsor Police Department, brought out a lot of families. Nearly 200 children visited Better Beginnings' Toy Weapon Exchange. This year, they helped make footprints on the "Road to Peace". On cutout feet, they printed what peace means to them. They included : Talking, helping one another, no more fighting, sharing, loving, humanity, harmony, and no guns. Funds for constructive toys came from the EWPD P.B.A.

The children in Better Beginnings' PACT (Peacemakers and Counselors in Training) offered a skit to let the community know about the dangers of taking drugs. Their message: Drugs make you do bad things, make you act crazy, break the law, do something dangerous or hurt themselves or other people.

Better Beginnings staff extended themselves to make others happy, again. They included Althea Lewis, Janice Jones, Iris Rodriquez, Ana Grisales, Maria Yamudio, Altagracia Minetty, Luz Horta, Gloria Perez, Consuelo Ayala and Cenaida Alvarez.
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Think about it! Think about how happy volunteering can make YOU! Think how happy the children will be. Call 609-448-6226 or visit www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc for more details.

August 06, 2002

What do you think about thinking? When I think about thinking, I think of an earlier life in which I was working for Remington Rand when the company acquired UNIVAC. In those pre-cubicle days, the “bull pen” consisted of rows of desks inhabited by salesmen of typewriters, adding machines, and supplies. When they were busy, you could tell. They were typing up orders, sorting assignments, and such. You just knew. When they were through with their paperwork, they got up, put on their hats (yes, hats) and went out on calls.

Then the computer specialists joined them. Often these guys would sit in thought, stop a minute to jot something down, and then lean back, close their eyes, and think some more. The Office Manager told me, “I can’t tell when these guys are working and when they’re not.” That was the first time that I had thought a lot about thinking. These guys were being paid to sit there, lean back and THINK!

My job, or one of them, upon being transferred to this think tank, was to administer aptitude tests to prospective employees. The purpose was to ascertain their degree of logical thinking and deductive reasoning. We had this thinking gig down pat by golly.

Why am I thinking about thinking right now? One of our children made me think about it. I was sitting in my office. My computer was “thinking” way too slowly, so I turned my back on it, leaned back and closed my eyes. A young student who was talking to “Miss Lucy” looked at me and asked in perfect English (her second language), “Are you sleeping?” “No, honey”, I responded, “I was thinking.” “Oh”, she responded with an AHA! tone, “Is THAT how you think?” I surmised that someone had told her to think about something, and she was trying to figure out what “think” meant and how you do it. A few days later, I overheard a Dad say to his son, “Use your head. THINK about it.”

From these tiny shreds of input, I commenced to think about thinking. Often, it seems, we tell a child to think about something without telling them what that means or how to do it. Now, you probably think, I am going to expound on how to teach children to think. Wrong! I have, however, hopefully, aroused your curiosity. (Aha, yourself, some of you are thinking!! Okay, you are very smart. You figured out that I have just given you a clue or three) 1. Arouse Curiosity. 2. Give thinking a good name. 3. Let the thinker know you sincerely believe he is intelligent and capable of thinking. Stay tuned. (Yes, you got me again, this another good trick, keep ‘em wondering. Mystery writers are good at this gambit.

Can thinking be taught? Indeed it can, and you can start now, if you are intent on teaching your child(ren) to think, by asking questions of the right sort, and providing opportunities. Bloom’s Taxonomy, opines that human thinking skills can be broken down into six categories. They are knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. At familyeducation.com, you will find information about each of these, and succinct samples of the right questions to ask to improve each skill. If you don’t have access to a computer, you can find one at the public library, or you can ask me. I am always willing to share.

Thinking skills seem to happen in sequence. In the developmentally appropriate preschool classroom, the young student has opportunities for classification, one-to-one correspondence, seriation, and language comprehension. At Better Beginnings, we believe in asking questions that cause the young student to “think”. We also like to give choices, again establishing the thought process as a part of daily functioning. For example, if we see a child running down the hallway, instead of yelling out, “Don’t run!”, we ask, “Do we walk or do we run in the hallway?” Both are effective in stopping the running (which is not safe on concrete flooring). One has the added benefit of empowerment, using thinking skills and good choice-making, and building positive self-image.

Before they go on a trip or for a walk, we ask them to think about what they might see, and questions they want to find answers to. We give them many opportunities all day long to make decisions, from where to play, how much food to put on their plate, what story to hear, and how to resolve a conflict. We work at increasing attention span, developing awareness through making observations, and build their confidence by recognizing accomplishments along the way. Learning centers are set up so that children frequently make choices about where to work (play), materials and equipment in the discovery corner (magnifying glasses, scales, magnets, etc.) encourage thinking. Cognitive games and puzzles, including those on computers, and block play encourage creative solutions. Books, a print rich environment, materials to sort and classify, opportunities for one-to-one correspondence such as setting the table, creative activities such as painting, dramatic play and puppetry enhance cognitive development. And music ---- there is growing evidence that music improves reasoning in preschool children, and helps to remove the risk from “at-risk” children.

Here’s something else to think about: Consider this quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson that someone sent me. “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn from him.” That one sent my thoughts soaring. I said to myself, “You know what. It is true. Every one I have ever met could exceed me in some way.” If we could just absorb that, we might be better able to treat each other with respect and dignity, is it not so? We could possibly stop behaving as if we were superior just by accident of birth or where we born. We might stop looking down our noses at others for any reason.

(I will gladly share my current list of the intelligences with anyone who wants it. Just write to me at bewith@mail2peace.com or P.O. Box 187, Hightstown, N. J. 08520)

When I apply this thought to children, it holds true too. I believe that every child I have ever met is better at something than I am, in spite of or, in some cases, because of, their tender years. You doubt me? Yes, dear thinker, please doubt and question; that, too is part of thinking. You want some examples. Okay, you think of yourself as compassionate? Two young brothers exceed you. When one gets hurt, the other cries. All right, so you cry for hungry children you have never met. Let me think of another. You think you have energy? Follow any kid around all day. Children also excel in finding joy in every moment. However, we are speaking of specific talents and abilities here. Okay, one can sing better than I can. Another can work a jigsaw puzzle faster than I can. Another can learn a new language better than I can. I will be testing myself with each child I talk to this week. Think about it. It’s interesting. I’m curious.

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Another thing I am thinking about this week is Medigap Insurance. More than that, I am studying it. Yes I am of a critical age and I need to apply some “critical thinking”. I love this English language with its many meanings for one word. Go figure!

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A woman was sentenced last week to 280 days at the Mercer County Corrections Center followed by three years probation for leaving her two toddlers alone in a van. What was she thinking?

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Here’s a tip: Get a grip: Little hands may not have developed full control or elder hands (like mine) may have lost some control. I now put three or four rubber bands around my coffee mug or juice glass. That way I have a better grip. Too bad I didn’t think about this until AFTER I dropped and broke my favorite mug. No, please don’t send mugs. I have enough. It is just that THAT particular one was my favorite. Do, however, please send tips. For example, Penny Pincher makes me save jar lids. Have you any ideas how we can put them to good use? There are just great for the young students to sort and classify. We even ask them to think what kind of jar they came from. There we go, making them think again. They are also good stencils for drawing circles, with no corners at all. What do you think?

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A tip from Penny Wise, contributed by Clara Martino: Always cross at the crosswalk or at the traffic light.

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Good friend J. B. Craig, from Trinity Church, noticed that our little ones needed a slide that was their size. Now, thanks to him, they have one, along with computer paper and some more "how to" books. Thank you, "Mr. Jonathan".

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Better Beginnings' children thrive on attention from volunteers. Help is needed in the classrooms, as computer mentors, and as music makers. Call 609-448-6226 for more information.

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