April 28, 2003

-Do You Really, Really Need That?-

Do you need it or do you want it? I may say, I need a new dress for the banquet, when in fact I would like to have a new dress, but I don't really need it. On the other hand, one of our children, newly arrived from a warmer clime in the dead of winter may, in fact, need a garment, of the warm outer kind.

A friend, explaining that she and her husband often wanted to watch different TV programs, said, I think we need another TV set. She believes another TV set would help avoid disagreements. In this case, satisfying this particular "need" would also circumvent the possibility of negotiating and compromising, along with an opportunity to share some time together and maybe develop some mutual interests.

-What a Child/Person Needs-

A child needs food, clothing and shelter. He also needs love, attention, and nurturing. He wants some other things, too, and can let us know in loud and certain terms. There are great advantages to helping him distinguish between the two, as well as keeping our own minds straight. At the minimum, if we allow a child to feel that every want should be satisfied immediately, we may be stacking up trouble for later years, when wants may have to be postponed and intelligent choices made. One rarely can have everything one wants when one wants it, and if one can, a new want pops up. Unfortunately, some that have been led to believe they should have what they want when they want it wind up wandering down a dark and dreary road that can include poor relationships, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, even theft, drug use, violence, abuse, incarceration.

In our affluent country, the lure of materialism can easily engulf and afflict us. Greed and envy jump in. We don't need that! What we do need is to feel that we are worthwhile, and that we are using our talents to make a difference in the well being of our community, our country, and our world. We need to be needed. Our children do too.

When I think about the impoverished and abusive circumstances of some of the families and children in our country, and in other countries, I feel grateful for that which we take for granted. There are those who can never hope to have such riches. After fulfilling their own basic needs, such as food, shelter, clothing, perhaps medical services and transportation, many people pause before moving on to fulfilling their wants. At this stage, they feel an obligation to help those who are in want or are needy. Some call it tithing. Others call it giving back. We call it sharing the joy.

-We Need (want) to See YOU-

OK, I talked myself out of that new dress for the banquet. What banquet? The one where our good friend and board member Pete Bussone was honored by the County with a Cherish the Children Award. He is practiced at providing what our children need and want. Earlier in the day, we honored our Volunteers and our children at a luncheon. Both were on the 30th of April.

-Children Need Advocates, and A Whole lot More-

The situation at DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Service) still needs a lot of fixing. Governor McGreevey proposes that the N. J. Legislature form an Office of the Child Advocate to oversee the treatment of our children who need protective service. It is a step in the right direction but much more is needed, including increased funding, adequate staffing, and acceptable foster and adoptive parents. This is not new. We have been decrying these conditions for years. We, the voters, the residents of New Jersey, need to decide what our priorities are and act accordingly. Our children need for us to do that. And we need it too. Please remember these little guys soon will inhabit and run our world.

-Count the Need, Needy, Needs-

How many times have I used the word need in any form so far in this column? If you send me the correct count, I will send you a lesson plan for helping youth understand the difference between need and want. Oh, you don't even need to count if you don't want to. Write to me at bewith@mail2peace.com or PO Box 187,Hightstown, NJ 08520, and I will gladly send it to you. I want to.

-Opportunities to Fulfill a Need-

Better Beginnings has been in existence since 1967, and its progress has been very dependent on the support of community members through gifts, contributions, donations, and volunteers. All are still needed; we continue to be underfunded, but energetically optimistic.

On May 17, from 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. the HOPE family/staff group of Better Beginnings is having a car wash at the First Presbyterian Church. On sale also will be hot dogs and soda. We need for you to be there.

The Yardville National Bank has joined Rosie's All Kids Foundation in funding our expanded playground. Others have designated penny collections for this project. Still we are about $3,000 short. This undertaking will bring us into compliance with new state standards and helps to position the center for accreditation.

-Better Beginnings Needs its Friends-

TuCents Worth says, "If anyone speaks badly of you, live so none will believe it." Actually, this saying is Anonymous. Asking to remain anonymous also is the donor of a used computer, helping Better Beginnings fulfill his goal of digital inclusion: which is "a home computer for each student."

John & Carol Sprout, have donated to our endowment fund, a living gift, in memory of John Bowen and Bob Miller. Certificates have been sent to the Bowen and Miller families.

Dolores Murphy brings many gifts, cereal, easter goodies, toys and key rings. Other gifts include educational software and a brand new matchbox game from Greg Washington and art supplies from Carol Jones of First Washington State Bank; toys and classroom equipment from Diane, Charles and Colin Gasman, Kim Schippits; and George Simmons of First Presbyterian Church of Hightstown. George also donated some beautiful afghans.

Minnie Bell, retired staff member, donated many items, including books, magazines, black history photographs, and collectible Lincoln pennies for the discovery table.

Jean Hutchinson, for the First Presbyterian Church Helping Hands remembered that "Tuesday is Paper Day" at Better Beginnings, making Penny Pincher very happy, especially as it arrived on the Pincher's favorite day of the year, Earth Day.

Penny collection continues to grow with the help of Molly, Sarah, Caroline and Abby Lloyd, as well as friends at AAA, courtesy of Carole Dailey. Clara Martino added another six hand crocheted blankets. Nunzia DeStafano donated many tapes and toys. Other useful items were donated by Roger Mauro and Deb Meixler.

But the donor of the week is Pete Bussone who slipped in on Sunday with enough bread, Spaghetti, oranges and apples to feed every child. Lo and behold, on Monday, the food preparation specialist called in on family illness, and the donation saved the day.

Thank you all for wanting to keep Better Beginnings going. Need I say more?

April 15, 2003

- Month of the Young Child -

April is a very special for young children, as well as for anyone who works with, is parent to, or just cares about them. As I continually learn, they can teach us a thing or two. Most of them crave justice and fair play; they are eager to do good and be good; they love readily and without condition; they seldom judge by race, color or creed, rich or poor, or national origin. Mostly, they are tender and protective towards those who are weaker, smaller.

Imagine a world in which justice, equity, compassion, love, hope, and racial healing abounds. Imagine nurturing these characteristics, protecting these concepts, until they become adults. Now, there is a world worth wishing for.

I am looking forward to learning the results of the Milagros project when the children will tell us what their wishes are.

- Young Children Respond Quickly to Encouragement -

Young children are joyful and enthusiastic. They love learning; in fact, they WILL learn. It is as natural to them as learning to crawl or walk. Growing and learning are implanted and ingrained must-dos. They hugely appreciate anyone, especially an adult or older youth, who listens to them, interacts with them, and encourages them. Just notice, just once, a behavior you appreciate in one child in a group of 18, and you will immediately observe 17 other children immediately mimicking the behavior. “I like the way Johnny is sitting”, you might say. At once you will see 17 more children straightening up and sitting exactly as Johnny is sitting. Of course, you will then, in fairness, need to repeat 17 more times the phrase “I like the way _____ is sitting.” Ah, what better way to spend a few minutes! Ranks right up there with smelling the roses.

Little wonder we call volunteer opportunities, "sharing the joy." Come join us. You are needed.

- El Día de los Niños (Children's Day) -

Our multicultural meal celebrating El Dia de los Ninos on the 30th has been changed to an afternoon reception. We would love to have you join us there too. Volunteers will be honored, and the children's wishes (los Milagros) will be read.

Many of us will be attending a banquet that evening, in Trenton, because .............

- Pete Bussone Selected for Cherish the Children Award -

The Cherish the Children Awards have become a valued tradition in Mercer County. This year, one of our board members, has been selected to receive the award. He has shared his considerable managerial and professional talent with the center. He and his wife Kerrie have been very generous and compassionate. They give each child a birthday gift and a Christmas gift. He provides the staff with a Holiday party. He supports the Shining Star Gala, and much more. The American Diabetic Association and others have also been recipients of his generosity. Congratulations, Pete, for this well-deserved recognition.

- Wishing for a Better World for Everyone -

Althea Lewis and Janice Jones made a very profound joint wish, "Our wish is to stop the violence and wars. The world is a beautiful place; we should appreciate our earth and love what we have, regardless of different opinions and ideas. Hate is a root of evil. We will never have world peace if we don't stop and learn to listen to and respect our fellow man."

More wishes and responses will follow in weeks to come. What is yours?

- Children enjoy making use of "throwaways" -

And so does Penny Pincher. She is fond of coffee cans. With no effort at all, they become drums. They can also be decorated to become banks, feeders, cookie jars, center of tossing games, and all kinds of storage containers. But have you ever heard of using them for toad homes? Yes, implanted on their sides in the garden, they become attractive to itinerant toads who will gladly help you with any bug or slug problems.

-Our Troops -

During "peace time" many of the troops at Maguire Air Force Base volunteered at Better Beginnings, helping with our digital inclusion project. Now, they have been deployed, and we have special thoughts and prayers for them, as well as for former students, Eric Pride, Israel Vargas, and Laurie McAllister, and all others who are serving "over there." Many thanks to everyone who brought in useful articles to send to our troops, and to our local Agway for sponsoring this drive.

- Children Benefit from Donations and Contributions -

We have learned from the United Way that those who have pledged and designated Better Beginnings include William Basham, K. Bruschi, Lesley Gross, Kenneth Jacob, Michele Madonia and Carla Sirman. We are very grateful for the designations. Minnie Bell and Frances Rios have also made their monthly contribution in honor of their brother and uncle, Jimmy Jackson, for which we are also very grateful.

Annabel Wyhnanez of the First Presbyterian Church of Hightstown Helping Hands, has made another generous contribution. Mary G. Grooms must have read about the "Little Engine" because she found a cardboard train for us. Ondina Jeffers and Maria Sancho remembered that "Tuesday is Paper Day" at Better Beginnings. Anita Gallager of the GFWC Junior Women's Club, Natalie Wasner of the Mother's Club, and Valerie Bottega remembered our children with many useful items. For these gifts, we thank you.

April 8, 2003

-  Money Can’t Buy Me Love -

Having more time with family and friends is far more important than having “stuff”, according to a nationwide poll of youngsters, 9-14.     While many feel pressure to buy things in order to fit in, six out of ten say they’d rather spend time having fun with their parents than go shopping.  Widmeyer Communications conducted the poll in February 2002 for the Center for a New American Dream.    NINETY PERCENT say that friends and family are much more important that things that money can buy.  However, only 32% say they spend a lot of time with their parents.   If they were granted one wish that would change their parents’ job, 63% of kids 9-14 would want their mom or dad to have a job that gave them more time to do fun things together.

Don’t you just want to go give a kid, maybe yours or one of ours, a hug?   Pick up a ball and throw it around with them?  Go for a walk?  Read a story together?  Sit and talk?

-  Love, and Life, is Going On Right Around Us  -

I wonder what OUR kids are going to reveal during the Milagros Project we have going on during the month of April.  We are hoping that many children and families in the community will join in.   (Visit Penny Patter archives at www.princetonol.com/groups/bbcdc for more details.)  Or call 609-448-6226, or email me at bewith@mail2peace.com.

These little children around me are such an inspiration.  In return for my caring and attention, they give me pure joy. With all the anxiety and sadness of war all around us, I aim to be calm and reassuring for them.  In return, a life lesson:  they remind me that each moment is precious. They show me how to enjoy uncomplicated activities. Somehow, their straightforward simplicity is simply profound.

- Doing our Best affects Life Quality -

Vince Lombardi said that the quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.

The other day a young woman, demonstrated this.  Relatively new to the job, she cheerfully checked out my groceries. She smiled, worked efficiently, helped me pack up my goods, separated just the way I like them. She accurately zipped through all prescribed paperwork, and asked if I found everything I wanted, and generally wanted to be sure I was pleased with all phases of my experience in the store.

Her joy in performing her job well shone in her eyes and beautiful smile. Lord, how I love her and am I ever proud of her! You see, she is one of “my babies”, a graduate of Better Beginnings. As a little child, she had just that same approach to her nursery school experience, joyful in learning, in doing well, and in her play with others. She was a nice kid and she is a nice grown up. She is a college student and has taken great strides towards her objective, becoming a pharmacist.   I reflect how fortunate we will be to have this intelligent, painstaking, cheerful person measuring our medications.

She did not recognize me at first. When she did, everyone nearby in the store knew it. We hugged and rejoiced. Made my day!

- Another Life Lesson –

Once again, one of my babies, now grown, has taught me an important lesson. I am blessed to have found work in which I can enjoy using my own special talents. But, I have had jobs that were good for earning money, but which were, at best, boring. I observe every day how people, especially parents, work at whatever job or jobs they can find just to be able to provide for themselves and their families. I feel it is sad to have to spend so many hours doing work that one does not enjoy. I now am reminded that bringing a positive attitude and a commitment to "excellence” to any job adds a special quality to the occupation and life.   If you can’t have the job you want, love the job you’ve got, and continue to work towards "reaching your full potential."

-  Wishing for a Better Life for Everyone -

In response to my request, Althea Lewis and Janice Jones made a very profound joint wish, "Our wish is to stop the violence and wars. The world is a beautiful place; we should appreciate our earth and love what we have, regardless of different opinions and ideas. Hate is a root of evil. We will never have world peace if we don't stop and learn to listen to and respect our fellow man."

More wishes and responses will follow in weeks to come.  What is yours?