Ask Jill BlogJill Kaufman, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a dynamic speaker, educator and therapist who has lead workshops and seminars at schools, religious institutions, corporations and community organizations. Ms. Kaufman received her Bachelor of Science from Cornell University and her Masters of Social Work at Rutgers University. Ms. Kaufman is a Certified Parent Educator and looks forward to blogging about topics such as discipline, sibling rivalry, self-esteem, power struggles, consequences, communication skills and limit setting for toddlers through teens.
Most recent posting below. See other blog postings in the column to the right.
1. A couple in my class were in a power struggle with their six year old son over going to a birthday party of a child that was in his class. The parents really wanted him to go but he did not. They decided to brainstorm on a solution and the mother suggested the boy go for half the party and if he wanted to leave he could signal her by rubbing his nose. If he wanted to stay, he could pull on his ear. He liked the idea and the parents and child both felt like they won! Great job demonstrating win/win negotiating and thank you for sharing your story!!
2. One great suggestion from my last class was to get your children into the bath. Instead of getting into a power struggle, tell them that you are going to make bath soup! Then get spoons, ladels and various items to throw into the bath with your child. Try it - it has already worked for me!!
3. I was at my five-year-old son’s friend’s house and it was time to leave. He did not want to go home and was starting to give me a hard time. I said, ”We really have to leave now and I don’t know how to get you to leave without getting angry. What do you think I should do?” He thought about it for a minute and then said, ”Carry me to the car and pretend that you are angry.” I carried him to the car and said some funny “mean” things and we both laughed.
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